I know this is a joke
, but it's basically me right now without enotsola
, who has traipsed off to Halifax and won't be back until June 2. I just don't know what to do with myself without him. I got up this morning and didn't immediately know what to have for breakfast since we'd had eggs yesterday and I try not to eat tons of eggs in a week. So I thought, well, I'll make coffee and then I'll come back and fix something.
Two hours and many trips in and out of the kitchen later, I still hadn't figured out what or kind of even how
to feed myself, which was beginning to annoy my stomach, by the sounds of things. Like, I was totally stalling on how to start to prepare anything (and I usually do like 85% of the cooking). This didn't involve literal staring at the open fridge, but it was in that spirit. I toyed with a few ideas of going out for something, but everything just kind of fizzled before I could even so much as get dressed, never mind get in the car and drive anywhere (I still haven't changed clothes).
I'm at least eating now (plate of steamed veggies and slightly-less-than-one-serving of cheese ravioli that was hanging about in the freezer and needed using up - btw, I did not do it for reals, I just drizzled on some olive oil and terrible powdered Parmesan cheese and pepper - but cacio e pepe
seems like it has real promise), and I read my usual start-of-day internet, but now I can't seem to force myself to do any of the things I told myself I wanted to do. Like, I have a zillion videos I've been saving up bookmarks to watch at a time when it won't bug enotsola
to have to sit there and see me watch them (our computers are right next to each other). But now it's come to it I just. Can't. Get. Started. I can't pick one. No amount of geez just start at the top or the bottom or roll dice whatever just click a link!!!
helps because the command just doesn't seem to ... get issued, never mind travel down to my mouse hand.
It's not really choice paralysis, just that every time I try to start down the road of a choice, there's just this "...nah" that makes it not happen. Same when I consider any option of where I might go if I left the house. I also seem to lose any idea of how to schedule myself because just like last time he was in Canada without me, I stayed up way too late last night, like my body lacked its usual signal that "you should be going to bed soon". (I justified it as trying to wait until he landed in Toronto and then had time to get off the plane and send me an email, which came at 4:20 AM, but I didn't quite make it.)
gah. This is going to be a long 11 days. Fortunately work will take care of a fair amount of it, but still. *chews cauliflower leaf sullenly*