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(no subject)
I asked myself why I almost always try to make anything I write distill down into a drabble and got a surprising answer.
Partly it is just a thought exercise, and sometimes you hit on a better edit for something that you can keep. That is not the surprising part.
The surprising part part of the answer, and the bulk of it in fact, was "guilt/shame".
Ashamed at needing more words? Ashamed at wanting to? "You spend too much time thinking about this"? ("If only such people would apply their minds to, say, the depths of magical theory, he thought with chagrin.") Fear of reprisal for taking up too much of people's time? Fear of ridicule? (a lot of things in my life come down to that one.)
This reaction does not seem appropriate to the situation...
Partly it is just a thought exercise, and sometimes you hit on a better edit for something that you can keep. That is not the surprising part.
The surprising part part of the answer, and the bulk of it in fact, was "guilt/shame".
Ashamed at needing more words? Ashamed at wanting to? "You spend too much time thinking about this"? ("If only such people would apply their minds to, say, the depths of magical theory, he thought with chagrin.") Fear of reprisal for taking up too much of people's time? Fear of ridicule? (a lot of things in my life come down to that one.)
This reaction does not seem appropriate to the situation...
no subject
But...maybe also not wanting to take up too much time or place. Or wanting contact, but only of the furtive, fleeting variety. No hold.