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This occurred to me at about 3 am after I'd been trying to go to sleep for 1+ hours, so please to give it that benefit-of-doubt as well as my usual "tongue in cheek, Lisa is rarely serious" kind of thing.
Aries: Aggressive and arrogant (and apparently alliterative).
Taurus: Stubborn as all hell, and unreasonable about it to boot.
Gemini: Fickle flake.
Cancer: Big ol' crybaby.
Leo: Drama queen.
Virgo: Takes being critical to ridiculous new lengths.
Libra: Can never make up their goddamn mind about anything.
Scorpio: Treacherous sexual pervert with plenty to hide.
Sagittarius: Is to "fuck the rules, even if they're sensible, I'm doing what I damn well please" as Virgo is to criticism.
Capricorn: Control freak who can't think outside the box.
Aquarius: Has a brain, but no heart.
Pisces: Is too far out in space to be any good on Earth.
Aries: Aggressive and arrogant (and apparently alliterative).
Taurus: Stubborn as all hell, and unreasonable about it to boot.
Gemini: Fickle flake.
Cancer: Big ol' crybaby.
Leo: Drama queen.
Virgo: Takes being critical to ridiculous new lengths.
Libra: Can never make up their goddamn mind about anything.
Scorpio: Treacherous sexual pervert with plenty to hide.
Sagittarius: Is to "fuck the rules, even if they're sensible, I'm doing what I damn well please" as Virgo is to criticism.
Capricorn: Control freak who can't think outside the box.
Aquarius: Has a brain, but no heart.
Pisces: Is too far out in space to be any good on Earth.