Hmm.....I was going to do a reintroduction and just mention this in the sidelines, but nobody seems too interested in reintros, so I'm just gonna post it for info's sake--some of you have probably seen it in other places, but just in case...

Last chance to fill out survey for the book I'm *almost* done with )

So......do we want to reintroduce ourselves, just so we know who we're sharing space with? I wouldn't mind--I've probably changed some since I first join this comm.

How about the rest of y'all?

EDIT: Oops. Forgot to link to the survey. *facepalm*
Feel free to forward this on to wherever is appropriate....

********

Calling all Otherkin and Otherkin-friendly artists and writers! The Green Wolf (http://www.thegreenwolf.com) would like to announce the conception of an as-of-yet-untitled new magazine designed and written by and for Otherkin. It will be a 52-page periodical that will be published quarterly; the first issue is scheduled for Beltane (May 1), 2006. The first issue will come by way of Cafe Press, but once we have a bit of capital built up we're going to go through an actual printer and offer subscriptions, hopefully with the second issue should the first sell well.

We're looking for articles on all topics concerning Otherkin; this can include any/all of the following, and then some:

* Origins of Otherkin (reincarnation, personal mythology, etc.)
* The History of the Otherkin Community
* Articles specific to certain flavors of 'kin (elves, therians, dragons, vampires, etc.)
* Events in the Otherkin community, both local and regional
* Otherkin and Spirituality
* Otherkin and Magic
* What it's like to be Otherkin
* Got any other ideas?

We're also looking for quality black and white line art for interior illustrations, as well as front and back cover color or black/white illustrations. Tasteful nudity is fine, though we don't need an entire issue of skyclad female faeries (as much fun as that could be in and of itself!)

Originality and good writing/artistic skills are key; we'll be able to help some on the writing with editing, but the more effort on your part means the greater likelihood we'll accept your work.

Due to this being a startup, we will not be able to offer any compensation other than "Hey, guess what? You're in print!" Apologies to anyone writing solely for the money--we hope to change this someday once the magazine's paying for itself.

Deadlines for the Beltane issue are March 1. Please send articles in Word format and images in .jpg or .gif format to whishthound@gmail.com . If you have any questions or would like to propose an idea before you actually follow through with it, feel free to drop us a line.

Lupa - editor
Taylor Ellwood - assistant editor
A little bit o' self-pimpage....in other words, an Otherkin article accepted to Witchvox this week:

http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=uspa&c=words&id=10338
I've been combing the internet for *any* books specifically on Otherkin. Not history, or mythology, or folklore, but incarnated 'kin in specific. Here's what I've gotten so far:

The Magic of Shapeshifting - Rosalyn Greene
The Psychic Vampire Codex - Michelle Belanger
Earth Angels: A Pocket Guide for Incarnated Angels, Elementals, Starpeople, Walk-Ins, and Wizards - Doreen Virtue
Dhampir: Child of the Blood - V.M. Johnson
Magical Elven Love Letters - The Silver Elves

So am I missing anthing that y'all may know about? I know the Silver Elves have another book out, but I want to read this one first.

I've been paging through the ones I haven't actually read cover-to-cover. So far they seem to range from fairly decent to awful tripe. For instance, the Earth Angels one is REALLY gods-damned New Agey, but lo and behold she does make some interesting points, even if they're couched in a different set of terms.

I'm mainly versed in therianthropy.....anyone got anything to say about any of these books so I can gauge a little better which ones will be good source material to work from?

Thanks :)
Anyone read the Otherkin section of Willow Polson's "The Veil's Edge"? If so, what did you think?
Does anyone know much about "The Psychic Vampire Codex" by Michelle Belanger? As in, is it a decent resource or it is utter drek?

Also, anyone have any other recommendations of books that I can use for research for my Otherkin book? Only one I've got is "The Magic of Shapeshifting" by Rosalyn Greene, and it's a questionable resource on therians.

Thanks in advance :)
I need help with a little project of mine......rather than post everything here, I just made a public post to my LJ:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/lupabitch/492539.html

Thanks in advance :)

Love,

Lupa
There's a new group for Pittsburgh-area Kin, created as a reaction to Meetup.com imposing fees.

[livejournal.com profile] pghotherkin
http://www.fantasycomic.com/

New Line Cinema is trying to get the monopoly on elves. Seriously.

Crime & Detectives Comm

Oct. 22nd, 2017 08:07 pm[personal profile] lost_spook posting in [site community profile] dw_community_promo
lost_spook: (writing)


[community profile] mystery_mansion: a comm for all fictional mystery, crime and detective-related fandoms (in whatever medium). News, reviews, discussion, links, promotions, fests, fanworks of all kinds etc. etc.

Blade Runner 2049

Oct. 22nd, 2017 01:48 am[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
May write more later, but Blade Runner 2049 is an entirely worthy companion piece to the original (and co-written by Hampton Fancher, who co-wrote the original). Whew!

Alien 3 thought

Oct. 21st, 2017 05:08 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
As much as I like Alien3 (not least for its complete refusal to suck James Cameron's kneecaps), I would've totally dug an alien-free sequel in which Ripley finds herself working to re-adapt to a civilization 70 years past the one she left to join the Nostromo's crew, driving load lifters, dealing with her memories, and working to be a single parent for her (not legally) adopted daughter.

(no subject)

Oct. 21st, 2017 04:26 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
Planning to see Blade Runner 2049 tonight, as a respite from studying. Odd, to think I may be doing this- seeing movies in theaters- regularly again soon.

this was a new one

Oct. 20th, 2017 02:13 pm[personal profile] solarbird
solarbird: (tracer)
So normally these gaming posts lately have Widowmaker's icon, but today is definitely a Tracer icon day. (I've also been playing around with my Widowmaker sight/targeting settings, now that linear tracking mode is working as it should on PS4, and I'm still getting used to it but I like it.)

Right. Offense. Junkertown. We're inside, but haven't been inside for long, on the last leg. I am in full-bore Manic Pixie Murder Machine mode, I end up with some very large and enjoyable kill streak that I card for, all that. That's all fairly normal.

But I've never been the greatest with Tracer's bombs, right? They're everybody's weak point because they're so damned random and often just won't deploy and even when they do sometimes they just don't go off. This has been seen in pro play, even. But today was not that day.

'Cause I've just killed their Mercy and their Hanzo and somebody else in their backfield (maybe their Junkrat? I forget who, I was doing a lot of backfield killing and they were not picking up on it) and their D.va comes charging by out of the shortcut just as I'm looking back towards my team and the payload to see what's up.

So I empty both clips into the back of her mecha a couple of times, getting her about, eh, 60% down or so? And just as she jets away, I follow it up with my Tracer bomb.

As I'm doing this, she hits her nerf. Her mech goes flying forward, into the rest of my team, and...

...my bomb goes off, and her self-destruct doesn't.

That's right. NERF THIS CANCELLATION MOTHERFUCKERS. She lost the ult completely, straight up cancellation, had to earn it back from scratch. In other words: nerf this? No, nerf this.

I didn't even think you could do that. I didn't know it was possible.

They didn't even give me play of the game. WRONG. I know who had play of the game. It was me.

eta: IT SHOWED UP IN MY HIGHLIGHTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :D

(no subject)

Oct. 20th, 2017 11:58 am[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
One unanticipated side effect of the move: I'd largely forgotten the joy of sitting down with someone who's been a friend for a long time, and rehashing old times, and hearing about whatever happened to _______, and so forth. Happily, I had just such a visit with an old friend last night; it was a wonderful reminder.

personal: abuse and recovery

Oct. 19th, 2017 09:50 pm[personal profile] ninquelen
ninquelen: (Default)

First, few things:

In this post I talk about abuse in relationship, emotional and sexual, there are mention of rape and abuse under the guise of bdsm, so if that can be triggering for someone, I advise them not to read or proceed with caution.

please note that english is my second language, I’ll probably mess up grammar more than once here, I do it regularly (and later look on something I wrote and think ‘what the hell?’) but I feel more comfortable speaking about it in english (and also I have better vocabulary in english; polish, for example, doesn’t differenate between „victim” and „survivor” and it’s important difference for me), so just ignore it (also 100% sure there are some typos I missed, sorry about that)

This post is also 6k words long.

The comments on this entry will be screened, just in case.

 

 

~read the whole thing~ )

 

(no subject)

Oct. 18th, 2017 06:57 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
Editing temp gig for November is confirmed, and now I'm all @_@

so very streaky

Oct. 18th, 2017 02:40 pm[personal profile] solarbird
solarbird: (widow)
I've still got this damned head cold or whatever it is and it's awful and won't go away. I was feeling better yesterday but that didn't last.

I was fuckin' terrible today in lunchtime Overwatch. Well, as Widow, anyway. I was good as Tracer as always, and the weird thing is, the one time I wasn't terrible as Widow, it was in deathmatch, where I was surprisingly competitive against a pretty heavy set of enemies including three Pharahs and a D.va, which is not normally a recipe for competitiveness but I was.

So I was feeling pretty okay in warmup. But christ, go into quickplay and suddenly it's WHAT IS SNIPERS? and I can't hit a shot to save my life. (And that included while winning. So.)

This is in huge contrast to yesterday where I was not just playing well, but had another entire game of being the Widowmaker I want to be. Defence in Hollywood, 70% scope accuracy, eight criticals, golds in objective kills and objective time and silver in total kills, enemy Bastion got so sick of me that he tried being enemy Widow and yeah that did not help, enemy Pharah kept trying to go over the gate wall and I just kept one-shotting her out of the air until she got so mad that on their last serious push she apparently decided "y'know what, fuck the objective, fuck the game, I'm killing that fucking Widowmaker at least once" and went through the security office while I was busy with other people, jumped me from behind and let loose her one and only ult at point-blank range just for me.

Honestly, I felt quite flattered.

I guess the short form is I am still a work in progress, and it shows.
coyotegoth: (Default)
I'm rewatching Interview With the Vampire for the first time in twenty years, and finding it a witty, moody, magnificent film. This is a relief: on first seeing it in the mid-90s, I had found it much more of a mixed bag. (To be fair, I also associated it with a friend of a friend, who had recently passed away, still in his twenties: the film was haunted for me going in.) This seems to be happening for me with quite a few films from my younger days that I revisit now: films I had found not entirely satisfying have deepened, rounded, matured for me in the intervening years. (And many old favorites have revealed highly problematic aspects in the intervening time; a saddening but entirely necessary process of re-examination.) Last night, it was Broadcast News that had benefitted from this rediscovery; today, I have a few other films from earlier years stacked up, awaiting their turn. (This makes me think that I could simply revisit earlier films for the rest of my life, every few decades: I won't, but it's a tempting thought.)
jarandhel: (Kirin)
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat starting now, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/
solarbird: (widow)

Widowmaker brought herself in from the cold, one day, exchanging a list of Talon agents for sanctuary, and at first couldn't or wouldn't say why. Her first breakthrough in explaining herself came in a talk with Lena Oxton, who then helped her break through Angela Ziegler's insistence that Widowmaker was not really a person, and that Amélie Lacroix could yet be recovered. But despite that truth, sometimes, some of Amélie's last memories - mostly but not always tightly compartmentalised away - trouble the spider, and this is one of those times.

This is the sixth in a series of stories set in the It is Not Easy to Explain, She Said continuity, a timeline largely compliant with known canon as of July 2017 (pre-Doomfist/Masquerade), which is when I wrote and posted the first story. It is not part of the on overcoming the fear of spiders AU.

This story follows "It's not easy to explain, said Lena Oxton" in chronological sequence. [AO3 link]


"Do you remember what it was like?"

Lena held Widowmaker's hand, gently, as they sat together, otherwise alone, mid-afternoon, in the smaller canteen at Gibraltar. She drank tea, cream, two sugars. Her counterpart drank obscenely hot coffee, unsweetened, strong, and dark.

For the most part, Amélie's memories stayed safely in their place, out of Widowmaker's way, but there were a few, occasionally, at the border between her birth and the previous woman's death, that picked at her, at times. Dr. Ziegler suggested that was because of the emotions around them - emotions could, perhaps, last long enough, even if the thoughts themselves didn't, to become Widowmaker's emotions as well.

"A little," said the former Talon assassin, after some delay. "Not very much, thankfully. I do not think she was making new memories very well, by then. But there are some."

Lena shuddered a little. "I can't even imagine it."

Widowmaker shook her head. "For her, it was not even the fear of it happening. It was..." She pondered a moment. "It is not easy to explain."

"I can't imagine it would be."

"She would feel, and think, one way, one thing, and then, she would find herself thinking another way, a different thing, a thing like I would think, sometimes, but she would be thinking it, and not me. And sometimes it would be something neither of us would think, but something they very much wanted her to think. And she would believe what she thought, and what she felt, but she would know, she would remember, moments before, thinking very differently about the same thing."

"And she'd fight it," assumed Tracer, "and that would hurt."

"No - but yes? Both would feel like it was her. There was nothing for her to fight. But the difference in the two... that, she found horrifying."

Lena let out a long breathy hoo sound, and took another sip of her tea, before continuing. "So they were making her think... their thoughts, then."

"My thoughts, at least, at times." She leaned her elbows against the table. "Or, to be more correct, the kind of thoughts they wanted me to think. About... how lovely, how beautiful, how perfect it would be when they put her back, and she killed Gérard. And she would believe it, because she could already feel it." The assassin smiled. "As I do, when I kill."

Tracer shuddered. She knew, she knew that the assassin enjoyed her kills - that for a long time, it had been all she lived for. But making Amélie feel that, and Amélie knowing they made her feel that... "Was it you, then? When they did it?" she asked, hoping for an unlikely yes.

The blue assassin laughed, a sound that still made Lena's heart ring every time it happened, no matter the context. "No. I could hardly have imitated Amélie so well for so long. I'd've been discovered, almost immediately. No - it was still her." She took a sip of her coffee. It had cooled a bit, but remained hot enough for her tastes. "That's why it took her two weeks to strike."

"So in the end..." the teleporter said, voice distant in her own ears, "Amélie killed Gérard. And enjoyed it."

Widowmaker nodded. "In a way. They were never above to achieve everything they wanted with her, but they were able to recondition her enough to kill - at least, for a time. And so, she assassinated Gérard, but being torn between the grief and the guilt and the ecstasy..." She shook her head. "That all but shattered her. When she returned, as programmed, they took her apart completely. And built me."

"But you feel some of her... emotions, from then? Her conflict?"

"I do," she said, a tinge of sadness in her voice. She put down her cup. "It was the only death about which I felt conflicted, until Mondatta, and the fight with you."

Lena put a third sugar in her tea. She needed something sweet right then. "D'ya ever wonder," she said, as she refilled her cup from the teapot, "if they'd done a better job sealing her off, if you might not've started to, y'know, think on your own?"

"Internal conflict as the source of self-awareness? Dr. Ziegler has suggested that idea as well." She shrugged. "I do not know. But let's say it's true - in which case, Talon did me yet another favour. They..." she picked her cup back up, sipped at the coffee, and put it back down, "left me open, on accident, to you." And she smiled again, just a little, at the side of her mouth.

The Overwatch teleporter let out her breath, and her eyes softened just a bit, as she looked into those metallic eyes. "Aw, luv. That's..."

"May I kiss you?"

Lena blinked, putting down her tea. "...you... care about..." She shook her head, just a little. "...things like that?"

"I don't know." The spider shrugged again, this time with something artificial in the nonchalance. "But I am finding I... may. At least, with you. Shall we find out?"

Lena wasn't sure what she expected. Would she be cold? Would she feel wrong, would she feel like some dead - and then no, she did not, she was not, she was none of those things, she was cool, yes, but not cold, cool like the first breezes of autumn, like the first hints of snow off the mountains, not chilling, but invigorating, and Lena returned the kiss, almost involuntarily, herself warm, no, hot, like summer sun, like the last day at a Spanish beach before the turning of the weather, and Widowmaker was just as surprised, finding herself melting just a little bit more, and she gasped, pulling away, panting, looking down at her coffee, thinking, How can she be so warm?, before looking back up at the one who had reached past her eyes of molten gold, and finding she had no words then at all.

"Blimey, luv..." managed Lena, after a moment. "You're... only the second woman ever to make me feel like that with a kiss."

"For me, you," breathed Widowmaker, eyes wide, "...are the first."

"I hope it don't make you feel like killin' someone," Lena half-laughed, half-serious, half-joking, a lot nervous and a little afraid, and if that made more than a whole, so be it. "Chiefly, me."

"Never." Widowmaker reached across the table, grabbing Lena's hands with both of her own. "Do you understand? Never. I could not."

She pulled Lena forward, close, quickly, knocking the teacup across the table, shattering it on the floor, and the smaller woman gasped, startled, but did not flee.

"I do not know why, and I do not know how, but..." The spider kissed the teleporter, again, the meeting short but intense, "...I have found someone I could never kill."

Hooooooo, thought a part of the teleporter, unexpected emotions swirling around her mind, throwing her into responding before she even knew she was doing it. This is not gonna be easy to explain, to... to anybody.

jarandhel: (Kirin)
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat at 8pm EST, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/

unf

Oct. 16th, 2017 05:14 pm[personal profile] solarbird
solarbird: (widow)
last time i posted, i was in a bit of a slump - possibly more perceived than real, according to the numbers - but i've been digging back out a bit the last couple of days. i definitely needed to do more annabots, because of what it does for my tracking, which deathmatch does not do. the two training modes compliment each other well.

anyway, i'm home sick today with a head cold, and so had two daytime sessions and i just gotta say

do not step to me as widowmaker on defence in hanamura

just

don't

okay, so, i'm up to a 12 kill streak and my scope percentage is pretty good and my critical hit count is decent, and there's like 35 seconds left and we seem to be in good shape on defending the second point. torbjorn's got his turret up, all that, i'm coming back from spawn where i've re-healthed 'cause we don't have a healer, but while i was healing up, somebody blew up my mine on the upper platform on our left.

so i'm running out the right corridor and it's mccree and his ult is up and nobody on our team takes him down. he pulls a quadruple kill, then takes out a fifth, but gets taken down doing it.

i proceed to hold the point solo as widowmaker against reaper, lucio, and the piggy, the latter with no doubt the most brutally effective widow:76 play i have ever pulled off.

15 kill streak. and my whole team has seen it 'cause I'm the only one alive.

they all come charging out as i'm finishing off roadhog and i just wave - "hello there!" - and present them with a cleared objective, and we win.

smooth as silk.

unf.

uncomfortable thought

Oct. 16th, 2017 04:25 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
When the Weinsteins left Miramax to form The Weinstein Company in 2005, I vaguely recall hassles with (Miramax owner) Disney over distribution of Fahrenheit 9/11 being given as a primary reason for the break. Now, I'm wondering if other factors may have encouraged the split with family-friendly Disney.

(no subject)

Oct. 16th, 2017 04:23 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
The definition of unthinking male physical privilege: when you catch yourself thinking, "Hey, that time I was groped, but immediately decided that I'm bigger than him and in no way felt actually threatened or invaded, so just ignored it and didn't even think of it again? Naah, I was safe- didn't feel like sexual assault to me." And then I put it from my mind, turned my back on him, and walked away, unstressed. The privilege of being male, and relatively large and strong, and able to police my personal space

(By contrast, I can remember adults touching me when I was a child- in no way were the touches sexually invasive, or even socially unacceptable- many of them took place in the church I attended at the time-but they were *emotionally* invasive enough to child me, unable to effectively police my own boundaries- a capability I unthinkingly take for granted now- that I remember them with far more discomfort.)

(no subject)

Oct. 16th, 2017 12:09 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
Emotional health seems to be- slowly- turning a corner; I suspect Dad's health, money issues, the gravid, red sun in the cough-inducing sky, and many other elements have been working together to create a perfect storm in my subconscious. Things seem to be on an upswing, all in all; we shall see.
solarbird: (tracer)

[AO3 link]


"I'm pretty sure I know what we're gonna see on this video," Venom said, back in her Tracer garb, but still more than a bit blue at the edges and entirely gold in the eyes. "'Cause I'm pretty sure I know what I saw." She gave Angela Ziegler a pointed look. "But... I might be wrong."

Most of the current members of Overwatch Lunar Embassy sat around a table in the ambassador's workshop - even Fareeha, though her thoughts clearly chased rabbits elsewhere. Lena glanced over with more than a little sympathy - she hardly even remembered her mother, and couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have one return from the grave.

"If everyone's ready, I'm going to start with Ana Amari's recording," Winston said, to general assent. "I haven't looked it yet - Athena's just finished deep-scanning the media for anything... inappropriate... to our systems."

-----

Jack Morrison looked at the drive containing the video. He didn't really want to play it again - it scared him. He had some ideas about why, but he didn't like them. Being a super-soldier was one thing. Being... whatever this implied... was another entirely.

He sat quietly in his temporary quarters on the small Los Muertos compound just south of the New Mexico border. He could hear Delgado outside, running her fighters through the training regimes he'd taught her, with that new man, Arturo, acting as her second. Jack smiled to himself, hearing the noise. If we're not careful, I'm going to end up with a pretty good strike team here. Already got one that's not half bad, he thought.

The former - and, arguably, again - Strike Commander looked at the drive a third time, thought, the hell with it, and linked it to his padd. A notice came up, saying the file system was damaged, and he let it repair itself, which took only a couple of minutes, and produced a slightly larger video file.

-----

Winston hit play. The large wall display showed a view through a sniper rifle - a conventional firearm, not Talon make - and Venom chuckled a little to herself. Still using the old-style scopes, grams? Good to know. Through it, from above and from two alleys situated a town that looked hot and had signs in Spanish, a group of Los Muertos fighters spilled out, led on the far side by one all too familiar white-haired super-soldier, on the near side by a woman clearly his lieutenant mirroring his actions, and through upper windows by a set of three sharpshooters. Military tactics against cheap street thugs means a battle that would end quickly, until blam, blam, blam, and all three sharpshooters were down, and there was chaos.

Morrison dodged into view, and the sniper fired, again, quickly - Venom could see Jack all but centred in her sight - and again, that blur, and then, Morrison is fine, and dodging away, and one of the fighters with him is dead on the ground.

"What th'..." said Reyes, as Mercy blinked, and looked confused. Mei looked at the screen, and back to the doctor, similarly confused. "What just...?"

-----

Morrison saw himself spill out of the passenger side of the lead vehicle, face bloodied, just as he remembered. He stopped the video, and zoomed in as far as the footage would allow - the resolution wasn't bad, but the lens wasn't great, and the image could've been shaper. Then, the blurriness got much worse, before returning to sharper focus, and his tactical visor was intact.

What the hell, he thought.

He stopped the replay, and backed up the video, and ran it again, in slow motion, frame at a time, zoomed in as before, tracking his own movement manually.

-----

"Winston, stop the replay?"

The scientist nodded, and motion stopped.

"...re-run that last shot at Morrison, slowly."

The sniper's scope tracked the soldier, a second fighter next to him, close by, but not unduly close. The shot rang out, just behind the former strike commander's motion, but still clearly a headshot. Then the blur.

-----

His visor had definitely been wrecked. Whoever took the shot had hit it perfectly, sheering right across his eyes, ripping most of it off his face without touching his skin. Hell of a shot, he thought, complimenting whoever - or, knowing Talon, whatever - had taken it. Then the blur.

He stopped the video, and studied the frame carefully. The compression wasn't too bad, but the resolution could've been better. He zoomed out, and saw the side of the truck in as sharp a focus as it had been a few frames before - just the upper part of his face became an indistinct mass.

-----

"Stop," said Venom. The video froze in place, blur still covering most of the field. She walked up to the screen. "See these?" She pointed at the sniper scope ticks around the frame, still in perfect focus. "And this?" She pointed at a perfectly-focused truck lamppost base, in the upper left corner. "This isn't recorder artefact."

Winston nodded. "I agree. Whatever this is, it's a real effect."

"Sorry luv, but the news gets worse. I saw exactly this happen," Venom said, "though my sight. I didn't talk about it yet, 'cause I figured maybe I blinked" - though she knew damn well that was impossible - "or maybe someone ran between me and Jack right as I took the third shot. But I know I had him dead in my sights, and when I fired, somebody else was dead on the ground."

"You took a kill shot?" asked Reyes.

"Third time, in that mess? Bloody right I did."

Mei looked unhappy and Gabriel frowned, but found couldn't really argue. "...fair enough."

Venom nodded. "Step through, frame at a time?"

-----

Several more frames of blur, and then, one where it seemed to thin, and then form a line along the horizontal centre of the visor, and there the visor was, again, intact, and Morrison saw himself reaching up and activating it, without a second thought, just as he remembered, during the battle.

He flipped through the last set of frames. Nothing more than what he'd already seen - a broken visor, a blur, and an intact visor, in that order. It didn't make any sense. Nothing in the Soldier Enhancement Programme could do anything like that.

Unless.

Unless it wasn't the SEP.

-----

Several more frames of blur, and then, one frame where the blur, the fog, seemed to coalesce on the right side, and then the soldier's head was to the right, apparently unharmed, and the fighter whose head had been all but out of frame was dead, on the ground, a large section cut out, almost scooped, mostly missing, and Mei made a small choking sound as the view through the scope swept from the dead fighter's body, back to Morrison's intact and dodging head, and back to the woman, and back to Morrison, before the shooter took another shot just too late, into a wall, as Morrison dove down an alley and behind a skip.

Winston blanched, and spread the key frames across the display. Gabriel looked more than a little ill, himself. "I have seen some fucked up things in my life, but that..."

Venom looked over to Dr. Ziegler, her anger controlled, but not entirely concealed. Angela said nothing, staring intently at the images. "Doc? You gonna say somethin'?"

-----

Morrison thought back to the failed defence of Overwatch Geneva, when everything came apart, falling into Angela Ziegler's lab, badly hurt, bones broken, stumbling around in the dark, the only light the emergency exit signs and his biotic field, as he grasped around, looking for the aid kits he knew had to be down here somewhere.

He remembered finding one, no, two, and applying them both, and passing out as another blast hit the base.

And then he remembered nothing until he awoke, having somehow made his way outside, having scavenged a UN uniform from one of the Talon soldiers, and feeling more than a little out of joint, like he didn't fit back together quite right, like everything was just a little off, or a little more than a little off, and he remembered putting it out of his mind and concentrating on getting away, getting as far away as possible, before Talon's UN puppets could get ahold of him, and make him pay for his defiance.

What were you working on down there, Angela? he thought to himself.

-----

"I... this cannot be happening," the doctor said.

"Pretty sure we just saw it," replied Venom.

"What are you talking about?" asked Winston.

"Angela?" the assassin prompted.

The medic shook her head. "I know what you are thinking," she said to Venom. "But you do not understand. My experimental nanosurgeons were not capable of doing what we just saw. Not even the most advanced ones."

Mei jumped in, supporting the doctor. "It's true! I knew that generation, this was not in their operating parameters."

-----

Jack pulled out his knife, pulled up his sleeve, and cut a long gash in his arm - nothing too deep, just enough to test his enhanced healing. The skin knit itself back together, normally, like it had ever since the treatments all those years ago back in California.

He cleaned his knife, put it away, and pulled out a pistol to replace it. He stared at the medium-caliber firearm, not sure he was ready to do what he needed to do, then chided himself for not being enough of a soldier. Enough of a man. It worked.

"Delgado!" he shouted.

"Yeah, Spooky?" she replied from outside.

"Pistol's acting up. Gonna fire a couple of test rounds in here, clear it. Don't freak out."

"Sure you don't want to go to the range for that?"

"It's fine, I've got a fire box."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the warning."

"No problem."

-----

Venom pressed the point. "You're sayin' that's not some kind of experimental nanosurgeon swarm? 'Cause it looks to me like Ana made that headshot, and then somethin' stole some parts from whoever was nearby to fix it."

Dr. Ziegler rubbed her temples. "I agree that is what it looks like. But it cannot be what I made. If nothing else - I am careful! None of my experimental versions will, or even can, remain active for so long. The last time he could've had access was when the UN moved against the Geneva watchpoint, and nothing from that generation could survive."

"The evidence," said Winston, "indicates otherwise."

"It can't be!" She slammed her palms atop the table. "None of the experimental models from that era could!"

Venom narrowed her eyes at the doctor. "None of 'em? You sure about that, doc?"

Dr. Zhou leaned over to Dr. Ziegler. "I don't think you should rule it out, I could help you go over the old records, over everything that was in there when the fighting happened..."

Angela looked over to Mei-Ling gratefully. "I really don't think it's necess..." and she blinked at a thought, and looked back to Venom. Is... that what you think? Venom's face caught the doctor's surprise, as she realised that the researcher hadn't actually put it together herself yet, and the Talon assassin just nodded, and the doctor bit her lip. "...I... it has been some years, and that was a tremendously hectic - even chaotic - time. It... we should investigate. I would very much appreciate your help in that, Mei."

"Sure, Dr. Ziegler," confirmed the eco-biologist.

"Thank you," Venom replied, nodding. About time.

"God damn," said Reyes, "Could it be more than just him? Could others be... infected?"

"Absolutely not," said Angela. "My nanosurgeons would've impressed themselves with the initial contact DNA, it would be impossible for them to spread successfully. All" - she stressed, pointedly - "of my technologies rely on that. All of them."

-----

Morrison pulled up a trouser leg, pulled off his left boot and sock, and aimed the pistol at the outer edge of his foot. It'd hurt, but it wouldn't kill anybody - particularly not him. But he hesitated.

Do it, you coward, he thought to himself. God damn it, just do it.

And he fired.

The pain was brilliant and sharp, more than he expected, but muted itself quickly. He felt suddenly almost like he was in a dream, half asleep yet fully awake, as he watched his foot splatter, then turn into a greyish and pink mist, and reform, in front of his eyes.

-----

"Meanwhile," said the Talon assassin in Tracer orange and Overwatch white, "I don't think there's any safe way to bring him in alive now. I think our friends should get the next shot."

"No!" interjected Mei, with unexpected force. "That's not what we agreed!"

Tracer, or Venom, looked over to the Chinese scientist. "We agreed Overwatch gets first shot, then..."

"No!" she insisted, even more forcefully. "I will not go along with that!" She looked straight into the assassin's gold eyes. "You are not the only one he abandoned to her death. He abandoned my entire team and I want him tried for that. I want it exposed! I want my friends to be..." she choked a little, and suddenly she was crying, "I want my friends to be remembered! I want justice for them! In court, with it all exposed for the whole world to see him for the monster he is!"

Lena blinked, and blinked again, shocked by the intensity of the normally cheerful woman's outburst, and leaned forward, "Oh wow, Mei, I'm sorry, I know what..."

"No, you don't know!" The small woman shouted. "You know what it's like to disappear for years and wake up in the future but you do not know what it is like to wake up and find all of your friends dead because he couldn't be bothered to send a rescue ship! He knew we were in cryogenic suspension and still alive. At least with you, he thought you were probably dead, but with us, he knew we were alive, and just decided to let us die!"

She continued in a small, quiet voice, "And most of us did. Slowly. In the cold. As the power ran out."

Nobody knew what to say. Gabriel and Winston knew it wasn't that simple, but knew better than to open their mouths. Angela just leaned over to the smaller woman and offered her hand, and Fareeha just sat quietly next to her wife, comforting her in turn. And then Venom found her voice, at last. "I'm... I'm sorry, Mei. You're right."

Lena "Tracer" Oxton took a long, slow, deep breath, and let it out. "I withdraw my motion. Our friends will remain on stand down. Overwatch will try again."

-----

God damn you, Ziegler, the stroke commander thought, staring at his perfectly intact left foot, which moments ago he'd shot through for a second time. He shook with unreasoning fury. What the hell did you do to me?

(no subject)

Oct. 15th, 2017 07:45 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. 'Plastics,' he said."
we_protect_each_other: "the only difference is, i would have stuck the landing... let the world burn. but you didn't." (casekiel)
Did this a few months ago. Trying again. I have become a more active poster, but only by a bit. I have been rewatching things, adjusting to a new job, and so on, so it felt time to do it again.

Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I'm a long-time internet citizen with too many fannish interests to count. I'm a high school English teacher in my first year of teaching, so I'm constantly exhausted. My commute to work is so long that it's having an impact on my health. I'm 26 and employed but live with my parents and dogs. I'm sometimes too much of an open book online, but I'm an introvert.

Top 5 fandoms: Stargate SG-1. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Amorphous DC stuff including Young Justice, Wonder Woman, and Arrow nostalgia at the moment. Always Doctor Who. YouTube stuff?

I mostly post about: Screams into the void, be they about fandom thoughts that I have no other outlet for or things about my real life I don't want to directly put in anyone's lap. Also tons of Dear Author Letters because I have an exchange addiction.

I rarely post about: I don't actually post about politics and religion often, but I don't shy away from them either.

My three last posts were about: Two Dear Author Letters and one post about how terrified I am to return to work on Monday.

How often do you post?: A few times a month at least since I started making an effort, sometimes more with motivation.

How about commenting?: Every time I go through my reading page, I try to find at least one thing to comment on unless it's redundant. I don't always succeed, but I am a big proponent of reciprocity of interaction for fanworks and am a generally supportive person when I can be.

sorta this new thing

Oct. 15th, 2017 02:51 am[personal profile] alenepasserine posting in [community profile] 2017revival
alenepasserine: Texas thistle blossom (Default)
Name: Alene works for now
Age: 45
Location: northeast Texas

Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I'm outdoorsy yet cursed with horrible grass allergies. I believe in love but never for me. I'm a hermit who's regrettably a nurturer and a fixer. I rarely meet a book I won't devour. I have a 90% chance of turning the wrong way at an intersection.

Top 5 fandoms: Lucifer, Court of Thorns and Roses, all things Middle Earth, Guild Hunter, varying bandfic

I mostly post about: Travelry, hikery, kayakery

I rarely post about: Squashy feeling-things

My three last posts were about: State parks, the TPWD geocache challengs, and anti-aging products

How often do you post? Depends on if I've done anything interesting lately

How about commenting? Not friends with anyone or in any communities yet, but when I am, it varies. I get chatty phases and quiet phases.

(no subject)

Oct. 13th, 2017 10:41 pm[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
For the last few days, ash and smoke have been constants: swollen red sun setting; constant wood-burning smell (a far more negative smell for me than when I lived in New York, where it was simply a harbinger of outdoor cooking or some such); now, occasional flakes of ash drifting down like snow. Belatedly, it occurs to me that while there are many scenes in cinema involving ash drifting down, there are absolutely none I an think of where it turns out to be a Good Thing.
elf: John Egbert with a rocketpack, captioned "THIS IS STUPID" in all caps. (This is stupid)
I have to watch episodes with several breaks, because TEH STOOPID bothers me.

I mean, there's the standard TV show stupid where characters have to tell each other things that they already know, so that we the audience can catch up on what happened since last season. Fine. Normal TV stupid.

There's the stupid of watching combat scenes - streets somehow devoid of cars except for those belonging to the villains; martial artists spinning into HTH despite facing their opponents and having a clear path between them (you don't turn your back on an enemy if you don't get something from it - sure, spinning around may get you leverage for an attack, but nobody did that); old Western-style one-shot-insta-death bullet wounds (except, of course, for any character with a name), and so on. TV violence stupid. Fine. Normal.

There's the interpersonal drama stupid, which includes both "let's talk about stuff that we would never directly say, except for the audience to catch up" and "let's make sure the audience has been informed, AGAIN, of exactly who has what relationship with whom." Bleh. Fine. Gotta throw in some backstory exposition for the new watchers. Then there's the mind games and secrets bullshit, where everyone pretends that they haven't spent five years learning that you need to rely on your teammates and that means telling them when something weird is going on. Fine. Emotionally constipated characters in order to stretch out the tension.

There's also spoilerific stupid, so I'm putting that behind a cut. )
solarbird: (tracer)
I've had a few pretty ugh days of play lately - my averages aren't dropping off (in fact, my crit shot number is up a little) but it's felt like I've been sucking, and I've been losing a lot, even outside of free-for-all deathmatch, where frankly I expect to lose, because that is not a good forum for Widowmaker.

I just have to keep reminding myself: for me, it's not a game, it's an intentionally-unfair live-fire exercise.

But lunchtime Overwatch today was better. I was even competitive in FFA deathmatch a bit, but the real fun was an unremittingly funny - to me - game in China where I just kept sending the same piggy swimming in the Garden over and over and over again with boops. Seriously, it was like four times, and he ragequit mid-round because he simply would not learn.

(He didn't even wait 'till end of the round like half his team did before dropping. After that fourth boop he was just RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE I'M OUT. It was one of those "I can hear you shrieking from here." XD )

And then at the end of the round, two more of his team quit too. But there was backfill, which kind of meant we were facing a new team, which was definitely better but we still beat them handily.

I do rather wish that team had stuck together for a bit. People knew their business. It was nice.
And I've come back. After the equinox I really started to feel the changing of the season in my bones, the annual shifting from outward-focused to inward-focused that I've only recently begun to notice and acknowledge. Autumn and winter are the times for reflection and recovery, for holding my loved ones close and stoking warm, inviting fires in my hearth to welcome them - and myself - home.

It's time to write again, to create, to learn. Not the explosive growth of summer but the steady reinforcing of my roots, hardening myself against the cold by turning my passion to quieter, smaller things.

So much has changed this summer and I'm just. Very tired.
solarbird: (tracer)

[It's about time I showed this story deserves that pharmercy tag, don't you think?]

[AO3 link]


"She's alive." The rocketeer looked up at the ceiling from a small private berth in the medical wing. The nanosurgeons and biotic field had done their work, and both she and Dr. Zhou were fine, all checked out and ready for action - at least, physically. "No call, no letter, no hint she'd survived, and now... this?"

The combat doctor sat by the bed, holding her wife's hand. She shook her head. "It's..."

"I can't believe it," Fareeha continued, unheeding. "I can't believe she's still alive. I just can't." She squeezed her eyes half-shut, still looking at the ceiling, but really, looking at memories. "We buried her, years ago, how...?"

"I remember." The funeral - like so many, at the time - had lacked a body. But there was a ceremony and a marker and a reception and most of all that empty feeling that wouldn't ever entirely go away, as much as Angela might try to fill it, a feeling of finality that did not sit well with being undone. "I had no idea."

"I know," said the soldier, gently squeezing that slender hand. "How could you have?"

"Are you angry at me for hitting her?"

Fareeha snorted. "I... no? Why? I don't think so. It sounded to me like she deserved it. Had I been awake, I think I might have given her more than a good slap - but I don't know." She rubbed her forehead with her free left hand. "She is my mother, and I always loved her, but she has always been like that, and now this, and now I don't know what to think."

"It feels unreal to me, even now, and I was there," said Angela. "I saw her myself, with my own eyes, but..."

"'Unreal.'" Fareeha sampled the sound of the adjective. "That's a good word for it." She shook her head. "I know, at some point, this will sink in. But right now, it hasn't."

Angela leaned down on her lover's shoulder, and no, that did not work. "Scoot over, there is room," she said, sliding onto the berth with her wife. "I am still very angry at her."

Fareeha put her head on Angela's shoulder. "I'm not surprised. I will be too, I think, eventually." She took a deep fortifying breath, trying to steady herself. "But she's right about one thing - about doing what is necessary. It's a military ethic, and I do understand it."

"Schiisdräck. It's just another excuse. She has always found excuses."

She has indeed, Fareeha thought, though she did not want to admit it. "You are not from a military family," she deflected. "You wouldn't understand."

"Don't give me that," she replied, poking her wife with pleasant indignity. "I'm Swiss - we are all military, in one way or another."

"Real military," goaded the Egyptian, a little smile on her face.

"Oh ho ho, is that how we are going to play this?" she chortled. "Do I have to slap you today as well? I remind you whose army has not lost a war in two and a half centuries."

"Do I have to remind you who hasn't fought a war in two and a half centuries?" retorted the rocketeer with a bit of a smile, for the moment.

"Because no one dares fight us," she said, with customary Swiss satisfaction. "Of course."

"I certainly will not fight you, not in the face of that logic," said the rocketeer, a quiet wryness in her voice as the sound of it went soft. "I surrender."

"Another glorious Swiss victory! But so easily?"

Fareeha rolled onto her side and wrapped her arms around her wife, and let out a long, low, shuddering sigh. "Would you just... hold me, for a little while, until we have to go upstairs?"

Oh, beloved, Angela thought, is it starting to register with you? "Of course I will. Come on, love, let it out." She pulled her lover's head against her chest, and slowly, softly petted her head as she quietly started to cry. She put away her angry thoughts about Ana Amari, and comforted her wife, instead - a far better and more immediate concern. "I'm here for you," she whispered, "as long as you will have me."

Hopefully, she thought, forever.

elf: Life's a die, and then you bitch. (Gamer Geek)
I have basically played no D&D since 1st ed AD&D. I remember writing up a character in 2nd ed (oh look; elves can finally be druids!) and again in... 3.5, maybe? But I don't remember actually playing in either of those; if I did, it was a single session of getting-the-party-together that later went nowhere.

I'm vaguely aware that D&D and Pathfinder are similar but not the same. I don't particularly need to know; until D&D gives up on the stupidity that is alignments (I do hear they've dropped alignment languages, at least) and the notion of dozens of character classes to allow variety instead of switching to a point system that actually lets people build the players they want... not particularly interested. D&D as a system is designed for a particular type of play, or at best, a particular range of types of play, none of which appeal to me.

I keep coming back to, "why aren't they using GURPS" if they want granular details about combat and character building, or, "why don't they switch to FATE" if they want free-flowing story adventures.

Anyway. Humble Bundle has Pathfinder books on sale, and in the way of HB, a large swarm are available for the $1 minimum. I'll get that.

I scrolled down. Normally, there's a $1 ("pay what you want") level, a mid ($8 here), and a $15 level. This time, there's also higher levels. At the top, for $45, you can get a set of miniatures.

The Red Sonja figurine shows everything I hate about D&D, the high fantasy genre, and the tabletop RPG industry.

(no subject)

Oct. 11th, 2017 01:32 am[personal profile] coyotegoth
coyotegoth: (Default)
In the past few days, i've had a kitchen sink faucet come off in my hand, drenching me; a job interview finally came back, in the negative; I've lost a free pass to a movie I really wanted to see; I've lost the chain and lock for my bike. I suspect I should just pack it in, and write a book to be titled Fate's Microaggressions Against Me.
jarandhel: (Kirin)
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat starting now, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
Name you would like to go by: Alex or [personal profile] alexseanchai or [personal profile] alexeigynaix. Pronouns: they/their/them (in the singular, but using 'are' instead of 'is' just like 'you' does in the singular)

Present path or tradition: Hellenic polytheism, mostly Athenian-based. Athena's had me the longest.

Interests: Fiction (esp. fantasy with a real-world type of setting, or portal fantasy), poetry, memoir, essays, knitting, crochet, spinning, weaving, quilting, drawing, watercolor painting, decoupage, beading, metal stamping, wire work, soap making, candle making, incense making, tarot, oracle stones & decks, magic...

Brief Bio: I am an intersectionally feminist queer, trans, and disability activist. I will answer 'white' on census forms but I identify as Irish-American because reasons. I am studying to be a legally recognized clergy person with Hellenion.

Hi

Oct. 10th, 2017 10:25 am[personal profile] craaazy posting in [community profile] dreamwidth_pagans
craaazy: (hathor)
-Name you would like to go by: Qiu

-Present path or tradition: Eclectic Paganism

-Interests: books, writings, magic, herbs, oils, candles, hinduism, eastern religions, movies, music, cooking, poetry, witchcraft, voodoo

-Age (not mandatory): 25

-Brief Bio: I am a Jamaican girl currently working a 9 to 5 job, I hope to go back school to major in social work or sociology. I am also a Fantasy and Science fiction writer in the making. I am a advocate for women rights, I am a feminist and a poet. I like animals but I am not a vegan. I do have my own book of shadows but its a mess right now planing on buying a binder and decorating it. Anyone want to be my friend?
jarandhel: (Kirin)
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat at 8pm EST, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/
solarbird: (widow)
I took Widowmaker back into quickplay games tonight. The first couple of rounds, I was with some furiously terrible teams, but I had decent shot percentages and such even if my numbers otherwise weren't exactly good.

But then I finally got a game with a decent team - well, sort of, eventually; we were down 4 on 6 for the first two checkpoints and being steamrolled. But then we got two backfill players and I got hot and we won because:

26 KILLS.
22 KILL STREAK.
60% HIT RATE.
8 CRITICAL HITS.
DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY TURRETS BUT GODDAMN IT WAS A LOT THAT WAS A BUSY DWARF WHEN HE WASN'T DEAD.

towards the end half or more of the enemy team made me first target and could not bring me down. d.va charged me three times with rockets and guns flying and never made it to me once.

I've been the Widowmaker I want to be for 30 seconds or so at a time before, and once, for two minutes. This was six minutes thirty seconds.

pow

pow

pow

it was wonderful.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oct. 9th, 2017 04:52 pm[personal profile] solarbird
solarbird: (widow)
SOLO DEATHMATCH PLAY OF THE GAME AS WIDOWMAKER

I LITERALLY SHRIEKED WHEN IT CAME UP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also in a separate game came in second and was literally in contention to win until less than a minute to go when the eventual winner pulled away

because ults mostly

but damn

play of the game motherfuckers

pow

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