(no subject)

I have no intent to live in Manitoba, but I am very amused at these "translations into English from realtor-speak" that someone talking about their immigration and settling experience has written:

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Rustic = A wooden shack in a field.
Quaint = A small, old, wooden shack in a field.
Picturesque = A small, old, wooden shack in a field with a tree in the front yard.
For the fisherman! = It is an island every spring when the river rises.
For the outdoors type. = The roof leaks.
A waterlovers paradise. = The basement is flooded.
Needs a little TLC. = Needs a lot of CPR.
Third bedroom suitable for a child or office. = A closet.
Patio garden. = The back yard is 100 square feet of cracked concrete.
Off street parking. = The back yard is 100 square feet of cracked concrete but you can park on it if you like.
Ideal for the handyman. = Its a pile of two by fours and a bag of nails in a field.
Cosmetic touches needed. = Major surgery needed.
Ready for your finishing touches. = The previous owner thought he was a builder....he wasnt.
Drop out of the rat race.... = Up a dirt track, no water, power or drains.

(no subject)

I have no intent to live in Manitoba, but I am very amused at these "translations into English from realtor-speak" that someone talking about their immigration and settling experience has written:

---

Rustic = A wooden shack in a field.
Quaint = A small, old, wooden shack in a field.
Picturesque = A small, old, wooden shack in a field with a tree in the front yard.
For the fisherman! = It is an island every spring when the river rises.
For the outdoors type. = The roof leaks.
A waterlovers paradise. = The basement is flooded.
Needs a little TLC. = Needs a lot of CPR.
Third bedroom suitable for a child or office. = A closet.
Patio garden. = The back yard is 100 square feet of cracked concrete.
Off street parking. = The back yard is 100 square feet of cracked concrete but you can park on it if you like.
Ideal for the handyman. = Its a pile of two by fours and a bag of nails in a field.
Cosmetic touches needed. = Major surgery needed.
Ready for your finishing touches. = The previous owner thought he was a builder....he wasnt.
Drop out of the rat race.... = Up a dirt track, no water, power or drains.

(no subject)

Is there any sense in speaking of pasta in the singular? When you have just one on your fork, is it a tortellino or raviolo or...whatever-o?

(no subject)

Is there any sense in speaking of pasta in the singular? When you have just one on your fork, is it a tortellino or raviolo or...whatever-o?