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This is a random silly story-fragment, in the form of an "IRC log", that I wrote several years ago. It started out with the premise of being about a cabal of Virtual Adepts (and one Son of Ether) who were all Masters of different spheres (one for each of the nine), but since I had no plot-ideas about what they actually did, it didn't go anywhere. But, meh.
Linenoise: dude, it's almost 7:30, where the hell is Vortex?
Tesseract: He'll get here
Ramchip: yeah, he always makes it, besides, it's only 6:30 here :)
Reverb: For all we know we'll go on and start without him, and then around 8:00, *poof* he'll be here cuz he went to the future or something
Neutron: no kidding, I didn't know he was that badass!
Phobos has joined #blackhole
Phobos: Hey guys, guess I just made it, eh?
Spazm: Oh fuck yeah, there's a lot you don't know yet, huh neutron?
Linenoise: Um, gals too! :]
Tesseract: yea, some of us guyz iz galz :-)
Spazm: Yeah (though I might not be tomorrow, if you catch my drift) :)
DrAwesome has joined #blackhole
DrAwesome: Good evening all
Phobos: yo optimus prime!
Spazm laughs
DrAwesome: Yeah, yeah, enough with the Optimus Prime jokes
DrAwesome: can't you think of something better?
Ramchip: nothing better than Optimus PRIME for you, buddy!
Spazm is still laughing her ass right off her body
Reverb: Yeah, and you could too, couldn't you Spazm?
Spazm: I could.. but why bother now?
Tesseract: just fer fun
Spazm: You think that's fun? It ain't easy, you know!
Linenoise: Yeah Tessie, like to see you try it some time
Tesseract: you watch it, or you'll be superimposed over the eiffelt ower
Vortex: aw c'mon guys... and gals :) no use wasting time now
Phobos: you would say :) hello, btw
Neutron: ack! ... you really come from the future, then?
Vortex grins
Vortex wiggles his fingers spookily
Vortex:: IIiiII aaAammM frrrom de fuuUUuuutuUUUrrrrRRreee...
Ramchip sprays Jolt all over his monitor
Ramchip: bwahhahahahaha
Tesseract pokes Linenoise in the eye
Tesseract: nyuk nyuk nyuk :)
DrAwesome: Hey, you two, take it outside, or cut it out, or I'll sic the newbie on you!
Neutron: Me? what could I do?
Phobos: Aw, you know why you're here, think about what you could do with that
Neutron: I don't know, what can I do with an invitation and password to private chat from the good Dr. A ?
Reverb giggles
DrAwesome: no, seriously now.
Linenoise pouts... awww, I don't *wanna*!!!
DrAwesome: OK, let's go over what you already know.
Ramchip: your mission, should you choose to accept it... well, actually, whether you like it or not... >:)
Neutron gulps
DrAwesome: This channel, #blackhole, is tonight's home of our humble little cabal of Adepts and Sons... well, one Son...
Vortex waves
DrAwesome: but we'll forgive him :) anyway, we all got together because despite the fact that we're all supposed to have correspondence (or Matter in Vortex case) down pat, we're all more talented at ... other things!
Neutron: uh huh
Neutron is looking a littel confused
Ramchip: Let's just cut to the chase. Robot roll call! <g> Sailor Mercury here - well, since Mercury is Mind - or don't you know the planets?
Neutron: well, the closest to the sun is the planet Mercury
Neutron: and next is shrouded Venus, just as cloudy as can be
Phobos: rofl
Reverb laughs his dick off at being Sailor Mars
Linenoise: !
Spazm reattaches it
Spazm: <g>
DrAwesome: do you see, though? Ramchip is a master of Mind.
Neutron: oh eh? zoinks!
Spazm: <still giggling> and then I am "shrouded Venus," must we go with the whole Sailor Moon? - Sailor Venus :)
Neutron has no clue
Spazm: That's Life, boy, I'm a Master of life
Neutron has a clue... just one though
Ramchip sprays Jolt again
Ramchip: hehe
Neutron: <singing> the earth is next, we call it home, we hope it stays that way, and then there's Mars, it's really red, what more can I say!
Reverb: Sailor Mars, Great Prince of the Powers of Forces, reprting for duty!
Neutron: so you aren't all masters then, whew
Reverb: oh no, buddy, you better believe it
Phobos: he's a real dyte punk
Neutron: ?
Reverb: Haven't read Jorune, have you? Here
Neutron: shit that was a fast transfer!
Reverb: little foreces, little correspondence, it's nothing, just a simple subroutine
Neutron: um! The giant planet Jupiter's as big as planets come...
Neutron makes cricket noises
Neutron: Nobody?
DrAwesome: that's you, Neut, Jupiter's matter, you're the new Matter Master
Neutron: great,so I'm Sailor Jupiter now :p :)
Neutron: and Saturn with its rings all made up of tiny crumbs
Vortex: <bows> Sailor Saturn, the Son, Master of Time, very formal! <BFG>
Reverb: BFG?
Vortex: big fuckin' grin
Neutron: Next the planet Neptune is a gassy freezing ball
Phobos: not in the Umbra it's not! y yo soy maestro del espiritu, Sailor Neptune <a better BFG than Vortex's>
Tesseract: I don't know if you're a teacher... master, yeah but teacher?
Phobos: have I got my Spanish worng again? aw shit.
Phobos couldn't give a rat's ass
Neutron rolls his eyes
Neutron: And cold and tiny Pluto is the furthest one of all!
Linenoise is now known as SailorPluto
SailorPluto smiles bashfully... but she's oh so cute!
Neutron: which is what?
SailorPluto: Entropy.
Ramchip: wouldn't fuck with her
Spazm: !
Spazm decides to leave that one alone...<g>
Neutron: aren't we missing some?
Tesseract: you forgot Uranus...
Neutron: goodnight, everybody! <g>
Tesseract: which is me, the Master of Correspondence
Tesseract groans... Sailor Uranus?!
Vortex: "Sphincter Sphinctorum" ?
Ramchip: aw, now I lost my Jolt again!!! you guys stop it!!
DrAwesome laughs so hard he nearly pukes, he really does
Neutron: Ok... so animaniacs, and anime, MST3K, and Red Dwarf, all in one tidy package?
SailorPluto: tidy?
Reverb: rofl
DrAwesome composes himself
Vortex: wow, now that's a paradox worthy of me
DrAwesome: we're still missing me, the Sun, Prime master
Neutron: Ah, hence Optimus *Prime*
SailorPluto is now known as Linenoise
DrAwesome: yeah, but I hope we won't go there, I've had it up to here with Sailor Moon
Neutron: wait, hang on, Vortex, I wouldn't think even you?
Vortex: yes, but I know something you don't know
Reverb: heap big secret
Linenoise: Can I be a Decepticon?
Phobos: Are you ever anythung else?
Linenoise: oh... yeah
Neutron: so we've got a kind of another Council of Nine? bitchin
DrAwesome: yeah, except we're not bent on diplomacy :)
Tesseract: just bent
Linenoise: dude, it's almost 7:30, where the hell is Vortex?
Tesseract: He'll get here
Ramchip: yeah, he always makes it, besides, it's only 6:30 here :)
Reverb: For all we know we'll go on and start without him, and then around 8:00, *poof* he'll be here cuz he went to the future or something
Neutron: no kidding, I didn't know he was that badass!
Phobos has joined #blackhole
Phobos: Hey guys, guess I just made it, eh?
Spazm: Oh fuck yeah, there's a lot you don't know yet, huh neutron?
Linenoise: Um, gals too! :]
Tesseract: yea, some of us guyz iz galz :-)
Spazm: Yeah (though I might not be tomorrow, if you catch my drift) :)
DrAwesome has joined #blackhole
DrAwesome: Good evening all
Phobos: yo optimus prime!
Spazm laughs
DrAwesome: Yeah, yeah, enough with the Optimus Prime jokes
DrAwesome: can't you think of something better?
Ramchip: nothing better than Optimus PRIME for you, buddy!
Spazm is still laughing her ass right off her body
Reverb: Yeah, and you could too, couldn't you Spazm?
Spazm: I could.. but why bother now?
Tesseract: just fer fun
Spazm: You think that's fun? It ain't easy, you know!
Linenoise: Yeah Tessie, like to see you try it some time
Tesseract: you watch it, or you'll be superimposed over the eiffelt ower
Vortex: aw c'mon guys... and gals :) no use wasting time now
Phobos: you would say :) hello, btw
Neutron: ack! ... you really come from the future, then?
Vortex grins
Vortex wiggles his fingers spookily
Vortex:: IIiiII aaAammM frrrom de fuuUUuuutuUUUrrrrRRreee...
Ramchip sprays Jolt all over his monitor
Ramchip: bwahhahahahaha
Tesseract pokes Linenoise in the eye
Tesseract: nyuk nyuk nyuk :)
DrAwesome: Hey, you two, take it outside, or cut it out, or I'll sic the newbie on you!
Neutron: Me? what could I do?
Phobos: Aw, you know why you're here, think about what you could do with that
Neutron: I don't know, what can I do with an invitation and password to private chat from the good Dr. A ?
Reverb giggles
DrAwesome: no, seriously now.
Linenoise pouts... awww, I don't *wanna*!!!
DrAwesome: OK, let's go over what you already know.
Ramchip: your mission, should you choose to accept it... well, actually, whether you like it or not... >:)
Neutron gulps
DrAwesome: This channel, #blackhole, is tonight's home of our humble little cabal of Adepts and Sons... well, one Son...
Vortex waves
DrAwesome: but we'll forgive him :) anyway, we all got together because despite the fact that we're all supposed to have correspondence (or Matter in Vortex case) down pat, we're all more talented at ... other things!
Neutron: uh huh
Neutron is looking a littel confused
Ramchip: Let's just cut to the chase. Robot roll call! <g> Sailor Mercury here - well, since Mercury is Mind - or don't you know the planets?
Neutron: well, the closest to the sun is the planet Mercury
Neutron: and next is shrouded Venus, just as cloudy as can be
Phobos: rofl
Reverb laughs his dick off at being Sailor Mars
Linenoise: !
Spazm reattaches it
Spazm: <g>
DrAwesome: do you see, though? Ramchip is a master of Mind.
Neutron: oh eh? zoinks!
Spazm: <still giggling> and then I am "shrouded Venus," must we go with the whole Sailor Moon? - Sailor Venus :)
Neutron has no clue
Spazm: That's Life, boy, I'm a Master of life
Neutron has a clue... just one though
Ramchip sprays Jolt again
Ramchip: hehe
Neutron: <singing> the earth is next, we call it home, we hope it stays that way, and then there's Mars, it's really red, what more can I say!
Reverb: Sailor Mars, Great Prince of the Powers of Forces, reprting for duty!
Neutron: so you aren't all masters then, whew
Reverb: oh no, buddy, you better believe it
Phobos: he's a real dyte punk
Neutron: ?
Reverb: Haven't read Jorune, have you? Here
Neutron: shit that was a fast transfer!
Reverb: little foreces, little correspondence, it's nothing, just a simple subroutine
Neutron: um! The giant planet Jupiter's as big as planets come...
Neutron makes cricket noises
Neutron: Nobody?
DrAwesome: that's you, Neut, Jupiter's matter, you're the new Matter Master
Neutron: great,so I'm Sailor Jupiter now :p :)
Neutron: and Saturn with its rings all made up of tiny crumbs
Vortex: <bows> Sailor Saturn, the Son, Master of Time, very formal! <BFG>
Reverb: BFG?
Vortex: big fuckin' grin
Neutron: Next the planet Neptune is a gassy freezing ball
Phobos: not in the Umbra it's not! y yo soy maestro del espiritu, Sailor Neptune <a better BFG than Vortex's>
Tesseract: I don't know if you're a teacher... master, yeah but teacher?
Phobos: have I got my Spanish worng again? aw shit.
Phobos couldn't give a rat's ass
Neutron rolls his eyes
Neutron: And cold and tiny Pluto is the furthest one of all!
Linenoise is now known as SailorPluto
SailorPluto smiles bashfully... but she's oh so cute!
Neutron: which is what?
SailorPluto: Entropy.
Ramchip: wouldn't fuck with her
Spazm: !
Spazm decides to leave that one alone...<g>
Neutron: aren't we missing some?
Tesseract: you forgot Uranus...
Neutron: goodnight, everybody! <g>
Tesseract: which is me, the Master of Correspondence
Tesseract groans... Sailor Uranus?!
Vortex: "Sphincter Sphinctorum" ?
Ramchip: aw, now I lost my Jolt again!!! you guys stop it!!
DrAwesome laughs so hard he nearly pukes, he really does
Neutron: Ok... so animaniacs, and anime, MST3K, and Red Dwarf, all in one tidy package?
SailorPluto: tidy?
Reverb: rofl
DrAwesome composes himself
Vortex: wow, now that's a paradox worthy of me
DrAwesome: we're still missing me, the Sun, Prime master
Neutron: Ah, hence Optimus *Prime*
SailorPluto is now known as Linenoise
DrAwesome: yeah, but I hope we won't go there, I've had it up to here with Sailor Moon
Neutron: wait, hang on, Vortex, I wouldn't think even you?
Vortex: yes, but I know something you don't know
Reverb: heap big secret
Linenoise: Can I be a Decepticon?
Phobos: Are you ever anythung else?
Linenoise: oh... yeah
Neutron: so we've got a kind of another Council of Nine? bitchin
DrAwesome: yeah, except we're not bent on diplomacy :)
Tesseract: just bent