female words

[arethinn]

I am not a "woman". I don't know if I ever will be (if this is connected to bearing children, then the answer is "no"), but I'm not one now. I am also (at 28.75ish) getting a bit old for "girl". And even if that's not age-defined, I just don't feel like one. "Young woman", to me, still refers to a "girl", just one who's over the age of, oh, 16. (My high school graduation age is entirely coincidental.) "Young lady" is an epithet -- something you call someone who's misbehaving (I often use this phrase tongue-in-cheek to chide my own mother, age 63, about something). "Female" is scientific -- "the female of the species" [...is more deadly than the male?] -- and doesn't make a great noun. Anything else I can think of, like "chick", is too slangy for general use. So....?

Comments

[silvaerina-tael.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with you here... And I do use male and female, precisely because it is more 'scientific' as opposed to man and woman, which sound to be too rooted in 'traditional' sexual roles for me, and is far too 'polar'...

[ninth-myth.livejournal.com]

i've had thoughts similar. and ended up with no answer other than that 'males' have at least guy as an option. i can probably get away with girl for a while yet before age and mindset diverge but generally i just try to avoid the whole mess. physically my gender is apparent so it's not often i have to label myself.

[elorie.livejournal.com]

Would you consider a male your own age to be a man? It bugs me when people co-opt parenthood...as when they call their pets "fur babies"...but going the other way and defining "woman" as "mother" is something I'd never do. And, unless you define "man" as "father", it's sexist.

I think that a nearly-twenty-eight-year-old is a grownup. I also think that's the age of your Saturn return, so you may feel differently about it in a couple years...

[ashrangildowan.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... That's a tough one. First off, why not a 'woman'? I think I may sympathize, since for years now though I have been well into the age of 'adulthood', and have even become a father, I still don't feel like an 'adult'. It has only been within the last year that I have begun to feel the edges of being an adult 'man' creeping in. Since I'm 29, that may have something to do with the Saturn return your friend mentioned.

What about 'lass'? That seems to primarily be defined as 'a young unmarried woman'. Heh. Tass the Lass.

[treewitch.livejournal.com]

Chick to me seems derogatory. I have never been called a 'woman', but I have throughout my life been called a lass (by relatives) but this seems to be the same as 'young lady' to me, as it implies the same thing. I wouldn't like to be called a 'lady' because that to me is the same as 'sir' and not very nice, at least I don't like it.

I can't say I have given it very much thought though - other than when reading some feminist literature and the list of names that women are called - bitch, whore, cunt to name a few, and how some objected to woman because of the MAN element of it. *shrugs*

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Male and female just talks about physical gender to me. Man and woman suggets gender roles, which I don't like.

I don't really know though. There hasn't been a word I'd really be willing to call me or my sister. We're both female, but we act pretty "masculine".

[arethinn]

My gender is physically apparent; I'm female, not androgynous (though I think my facial features are annoyingly masculine). But I don't look like "a woman", to me. I think most people just refer to me by my name rather than a general term, but I'm not sure.

[arethinn]

"Would you consider a male your own age to be a man?"

Not necessarily. It would depend on the person. enotsola is still mostly a boy to me, although he is developing more "manly" characteristics (e.g. actually having to shave every day or so, rather than being able to go a week as he could when we first met). I'm not exclusively chaining together parenthood and "man/woman", just saying that if I did in fact have a child, I know that I probably would then feel that "woman" applied to me personally. In the absence of this event or other qualifying characteristics (I don't know what... but I don't seem to have them) I am confused about terminology.

Going about referring to myself as "a grownup" would feel a little odd... ^_-

[arethinn]

"First off, why not a 'woman'? "

You've seen me, but you may not remember. If you do, though, would you readily apply the word to me? I look in the mirror and go "I would not use the word 'woman' for that person".

I agree with treewitch that "lass" is basically "young woman" or "young lady"... and besides, I don't actually use the name "tass" anywhere but LJ. :P

[dancinglights.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much in the same boat, but I'm always tickled when someone uses "lady" for me, snarkily or not (hell, I appreciate it more when it's sarcastic, somehow). It denotes some class and grace as well as gender, and isn't a title that changes with age or mothering status. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite seem like something one can *ask* people to call one without being utterly presumptuous and rude. So I'm rather at a loss.

[arethinn]

I'd actually be kind of interested to see what words other people would, in fact, use for me if they needed to in a sentence... maybe it's poll time. Everyone loves clicky boxes!

[heartssdesire.livejournal.com]

Your particular sort of femininity (in my limited exposure) and your build make you seem willowy and uh, the word that is coming to mind is waif-ish, but I mean that without the pathos (if that makes any goddamned sense) ... and anyway the point is it lends you a youthful seeming. So I guess I can see why you might feel 'woman' isn't the right word.

Okay, going for thesaurus.com there are a pile of pretty words that seem more descriptive for you, but that most people would never say in ordinary speech:

damsel (probably too many victim connotations at this point)
wench (? I think of myself as one, but it does get used as a pejorative, so I dunno.)
maid or maiden (I like this one for you. It has this virginal connotation, but the original meaning of that is unwedded, not unsexed; meaning a woman/girl who nobody owns.)

[arethinn]

I don't think of myself as at all willowy or waifish (maybe when I weighed slightly less than 120... not now that I'm close to 130; on this height, 10 lbs is a big difference), but ok. Youthful, yeah -- enough that it sometimes causes me problems (i.e., both employees and patrons sometimes don't want to take my say-so because I don't seem "authoritative"; at least as far as I can tell, my apparent age is the problem). I can deal with "maiden", although you're right, it's not generally used in normal speech. (Maybe it depends how many Rennies/SCA folks you know.) A "wench" I am not -- it implies a sexuality I simply don't have.