I'm not the "child-raising" sort, but this kind of makes me wonder... is it possible for anyone to grow up "normal" these days? How were children raised - or more to the point, how did we view child-raising - before the advent of modern psychology?
An interesting read, but unfortunately the level of hyperbole makes it seem somewhat like propaganda...
I think there's three things going on here. The first is the concept of the mythical normal, which never existed and is, in the modern day, based more or less on the 1950s stereotype which itself never existed either.
Second, these social ills have existed ever since we stopped roving as hunting nomads and settled into some serious agriculture. It's only recently that we've developed an open enough culture to discuss it and realize just how widespread these issues are.
Third...the truth is that anything you do or say to a child, if taken in extremes, can have negative effects. Consider the age 6 issue in that little screed. If you don't send a child to school at all, if you keep them home forever, you face depriving them of socialization skills and making them overly dependent on their parents' attentions. The only real alternative to that is to bring your child up in more of a tribal atmosphere, which is great if you can make it work but is, in the context of the here and now, something of a logistical nightmare. Which isn't to say it isn't worth trying, but it also creates its own set of problems.
Or, in other words, there is no one-size-fits-all "right" answer to raising a child, if for no other reason than that each child is an individual with individual needs, challenges, and gifts.
i suppose a good way to raise a child is to answer their questions and don't ignore them. everything else is sort of learn as you go. But then me being a male...I don't have any idea how to raise a child so my opinion on the matter is to be taken at what its worth...nothing. But...love and caring and a stable house are good things to have as a background. coming from a broken home myself its...hard for me to think how i would turn out if both my orignal parents had stayed together.
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Date: Feb. 9th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)From:I think there's three things going on here. The first is the concept of the mythical normal, which never existed and is, in the modern day, based more or less on the 1950s stereotype which itself never existed either.
Second, these social ills have existed ever since we stopped roving as hunting nomads and settled into some serious agriculture. It's only recently that we've developed an open enough culture to discuss it and realize just how widespread these issues are.
Third...the truth is that anything you do or say to a child, if taken in extremes, can have negative effects. Consider the age 6 issue in that little screed. If you don't send a child to school at all, if you keep them home forever, you face depriving them of socialization skills and making them overly dependent on their parents' attentions. The only real alternative to that is to bring your child up in more of a tribal atmosphere, which is great if you can make it work but is, in the context of the here and now, something of a logistical nightmare. Which isn't to say it isn't worth trying, but it also creates its own set of problems.
Or, in other words, there is no one-size-fits-all "right" answer to raising a child, if for no other reason than that each child is an individual with individual needs, challenges, and gifts.
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Date: Feb. 9th, 2004 12:44 pm (UTC)From:i suppose a good way to raise a child is to answer their questions and don't ignore them. everything else is sort of learn as you go. But then me being a male...I don't have any idea how to raise a child so my opinion on the matter is to be taken at what its worth...nothing. But...love and caring and a stable house are good things to have as a background. coming from a broken home myself its...hard for me to think how i would turn out if both my orignal parents had stayed together.