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I posted this in reply to a comment, but I thought I'd post it out here since it amuses me so much.
Occam's Eraser: a Bootstrap Approach to Developing a Theory of Everything
Abstract
Much misguided research has been directed towards the development of a Theory of Everything (TOE) which can be applied to explain all the observable phenomena of the Universe and to predict all phenomena which are not observable.
While the author of this paper acknowledges the value of such a theory, it is clear that all research in this area is far too ambitious to ever achieve such a goal, and is therefore pointless and misguided.
In this paper, a bootstrap approach to the development of a perfect TOE is proposed. This approach, called Occam's Eraser, really works.
Keywords: Occam's Eraser, TOE, Things, Nobel Prize.
Introduction
The Universe is a very large entity, packed with Very Large Things like planets and stars, Very Small Things like atoms and quarks, Very Fast Things like photons, and lots of Space (Adams, 1980). The Universe is also very complex because some Very Small Things can also be Very Fast, most Very Large Things have lots of Space, and lots of Very Small Things can stick together to form Very Large Things. The situation is further complicated by the fact that many Things are undetectable or only partially detectable, and even something as simple as Space does annoying things like growing and bending. And, of course, the Universe contains lots of Other Things too.
Most physicists trying to develop a TOE look for ways of joining together existing theories that can individually be used to explain Some Things, but not All Things, in the hope that Things that cannot be explained by applying one particular theory might be accounted for by the application of the next.
Such researchers usually start with the idea that there are four Things that glue Other Things together: Gravity; Electromagnetism; Nuclear weak force; and Nuclear strong force.
However, even the search of a theory that describes only these four forces has proved unsuccessful; neither the Standard Model of quantum mechanics nor the Grand Unified Theory can be used to explain the most obvious of these forces, namely gravity.
Modern physicists searching for a TOE emulate medieval alchemists in their attempts to discover the lapis philosophorum. Their quest is as doomed as that of their forebears for many reasons:
...a TOE developed from existing theories will inherit existing flaws
...there may be more than four forces at work which have not been detected
...it may be impossible to conduct experiments to test a TOE
However, the most important reason why a working TOE has proved impossible to develop is that the Universe simply contains too many Things to be described by a single, elegant TOE.
Occam's Razor
The English philosopher, William Occam, formulated a heuristic rule for constructing theories.
To paraphrase his rule:
Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily.
Occam's Razor is interpreted as the requirement that the simplest of competing theories should be adopted in favour of more complex theories, and that unknown phenomena should be explained first in terms of known quantities.
Occam's Razor is a powerful tool in science.
For instance, given two competing theories:
...Rocks are insentient masses of stony material.
...Rocks are highly intelligent and sociable creatures which interact with each other and their environment in complex ways that are undetectable to humans.
Theory (1) is the simplest theory that can explain the observable facts and should be adopted in favour of Theory (2), unless some event is detected that cannot be explained by Theory (1) but can be explained by Theory (2).
The application of Occam's Razor to reported phenomena, like spoon-bending, abduction by space aliens, and economics, allows scientists to concentrate of potentially-useful areas of research until enough observed facts exist to require a more complex theory.
However, in the case of TOEs, there are no competing theories from which to choose the simplest -- there are no TOEs!
Occam's Eraser: Inverting Occam's Razor
The principle of Occam's Eraser is this: since no TOE can be developed because the Universe contains too many Things which make it complex, it is necessary to simplify the Universe by the absolute application of a suitable theory.
Such an approach has many precedents: Newton modelled the Universe with an elegant theory of mechanics by effectively ignoring Very Small Things and Very Fast Things, and oceanographers often model tidal systems using an "Ideal World" which lacks land masses. Thus, Newtonian mechanics would provide a good model of a Universe without Very Fast Things and Very Small Things, and tidal systems could be accurately modelled in a Universe in which planets have no land masses messing up their oceans.
Method
Selecting an Appropriate TOE
The first step is to select a complete and perfect theory. To achieve this goal, the theory should be simple and elegant.
Newtonian mechanics have been considered and rejected since Chaos Theory shows that even this elegant theory is prone to unpredictability.
It is the view of the author of this paper that the only acceptable TOE is one which is uncluttered by the ambiguities of a physical Universe. Suitable candidate TOEs include Number Theory, Plato's Forms, and Leibniz's Monads and Concepts.
Applying Occam's Eraser
Having selected a suitable candidate TOE, it is necessary to realise it as a fully-fledged TOE by removing everything from the Universe which cannot be explained by its application.
By selecting a candidate TOE that is independent of any physical characteristics, the task of applying Occam's Eraser is greatly simplified. Rather than meticulously choosing which sub-atomic particles and forces to selectively exclude from the Universe, all that is required is to remove all physical forces, objects and dimensions.
This process of removal can be effected by destroying the Universe, perhaps by employing some kind of Ultimate Weapon, or possibly by precipitating the Big Bang.
Results and Conclusions
The results of such an experiment are obvious and, as such, the experiment need not be executed yet.
While it would be possible to apply Occam's Eraser to a more conventional candidate TOE, such as the Grand Unified Theory, the act of removing gravity from the Universe is problematic.
Since Occam's Eraser can be applied to any TOE, the author of this paper is currently removing physicists from the Universe in order to secure a claim on the Nobel Prize, while it still exists.
Received: 8 April 1996
Occam's Eraser: a Bootstrap Approach to Developing a Theory of Everything
Abstract
Much misguided research has been directed towards the development of a Theory of Everything (TOE) which can be applied to explain all the observable phenomena of the Universe and to predict all phenomena which are not observable.
While the author of this paper acknowledges the value of such a theory, it is clear that all research in this area is far too ambitious to ever achieve such a goal, and is therefore pointless and misguided.
In this paper, a bootstrap approach to the development of a perfect TOE is proposed. This approach, called Occam's Eraser, really works.
Keywords: Occam's Eraser, TOE, Things, Nobel Prize.
Introduction
The Universe is a very large entity, packed with Very Large Things like planets and stars, Very Small Things like atoms and quarks, Very Fast Things like photons, and lots of Space (Adams, 1980). The Universe is also very complex because some Very Small Things can also be Very Fast, most Very Large Things have lots of Space, and lots of Very Small Things can stick together to form Very Large Things. The situation is further complicated by the fact that many Things are undetectable or only partially detectable, and even something as simple as Space does annoying things like growing and bending. And, of course, the Universe contains lots of Other Things too.
Most physicists trying to develop a TOE look for ways of joining together existing theories that can individually be used to explain Some Things, but not All Things, in the hope that Things that cannot be explained by applying one particular theory might be accounted for by the application of the next.
Such researchers usually start with the idea that there are four Things that glue Other Things together: Gravity; Electromagnetism; Nuclear weak force; and Nuclear strong force.
However, even the search of a theory that describes only these four forces has proved unsuccessful; neither the Standard Model of quantum mechanics nor the Grand Unified Theory can be used to explain the most obvious of these forces, namely gravity.
Modern physicists searching for a TOE emulate medieval alchemists in their attempts to discover the lapis philosophorum. Their quest is as doomed as that of their forebears for many reasons:
...a TOE developed from existing theories will inherit existing flaws
...there may be more than four forces at work which have not been detected
...it may be impossible to conduct experiments to test a TOE
However, the most important reason why a working TOE has proved impossible to develop is that the Universe simply contains too many Things to be described by a single, elegant TOE.
Occam's Razor
The English philosopher, William Occam, formulated a heuristic rule for constructing theories.
To paraphrase his rule:
Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily.
Occam's Razor is interpreted as the requirement that the simplest of competing theories should be adopted in favour of more complex theories, and that unknown phenomena should be explained first in terms of known quantities.
Occam's Razor is a powerful tool in science.
For instance, given two competing theories:
...Rocks are insentient masses of stony material.
...Rocks are highly intelligent and sociable creatures which interact with each other and their environment in complex ways that are undetectable to humans.
Theory (1) is the simplest theory that can explain the observable facts and should be adopted in favour of Theory (2), unless some event is detected that cannot be explained by Theory (1) but can be explained by Theory (2).
The application of Occam's Razor to reported phenomena, like spoon-bending, abduction by space aliens, and economics, allows scientists to concentrate of potentially-useful areas of research until enough observed facts exist to require a more complex theory.
However, in the case of TOEs, there are no competing theories from which to choose the simplest -- there are no TOEs!
Occam's Eraser: Inverting Occam's Razor
The principle of Occam's Eraser is this: since no TOE can be developed because the Universe contains too many Things which make it complex, it is necessary to simplify the Universe by the absolute application of a suitable theory.
Such an approach has many precedents: Newton modelled the Universe with an elegant theory of mechanics by effectively ignoring Very Small Things and Very Fast Things, and oceanographers often model tidal systems using an "Ideal World" which lacks land masses. Thus, Newtonian mechanics would provide a good model of a Universe without Very Fast Things and Very Small Things, and tidal systems could be accurately modelled in a Universe in which planets have no land masses messing up their oceans.
Method
Selecting an Appropriate TOE
The first step is to select a complete and perfect theory. To achieve this goal, the theory should be simple and elegant.
Newtonian mechanics have been considered and rejected since Chaos Theory shows that even this elegant theory is prone to unpredictability.
It is the view of the author of this paper that the only acceptable TOE is one which is uncluttered by the ambiguities of a physical Universe. Suitable candidate TOEs include Number Theory, Plato's Forms, and Leibniz's Monads and Concepts.
Applying Occam's Eraser
Having selected a suitable candidate TOE, it is necessary to realise it as a fully-fledged TOE by removing everything from the Universe which cannot be explained by its application.
By selecting a candidate TOE that is independent of any physical characteristics, the task of applying Occam's Eraser is greatly simplified. Rather than meticulously choosing which sub-atomic particles and forces to selectively exclude from the Universe, all that is required is to remove all physical forces, objects and dimensions.
This process of removal can be effected by destroying the Universe, perhaps by employing some kind of Ultimate Weapon, or possibly by precipitating the Big Bang.
Results and Conclusions
The results of such an experiment are obvious and, as such, the experiment need not be executed yet.
While it would be possible to apply Occam's Eraser to a more conventional candidate TOE, such as the Grand Unified Theory, the act of removing gravity from the Universe is problematic.
Since Occam's Eraser can be applied to any TOE, the author of this paper is currently removing physicists from the Universe in order to secure a claim on the Nobel Prize, while it still exists.
Received: 8 April 1996