since tyrsalvia asked if I was having a going-away party:

[arethinn]

This is probably going to sound unnecessarily vain, because I don't think anyone would want to put out this much effort anyway, but because the overall stuation (to wit: leaving the country, without any plans for any "goodbye" events) is one where people in general tend to do these kinds of things, I am making my official statement now:

Please, nobody organize any surprise parties. I honestly hate them. I don't understand what is OK about tricking someone, making them look like a dumb fool ("ha ha, they didn't figure it out!"), and embarrassing them in a group when they are supposed to be your friend. Perhaps from your (general you) perspective this is being a bad sport or too sensitive, but it's how I feel. I would definitely be upset at whoever instigated such a thing, possibly would break down and cry, and might even flounce out in irritation, depending on cosmic rays and the phase of the moon. So don't go there. (This goes for the receiving end as well, all y'all in Canada.)

Posting this makes me all squirmy with "OMG, what would even make her think we'd want to? Who the hell does she think she is? Get a load of this self-aggrandizing crap!" kinds of feelings, but they're ("we're"? --since I've been asked my preferences on everything from cake filling to gift ideas) doing one at work and I know I probably would if I were on the other end of such a thing, so I'm just sayin'.

(edit: In case it's ambiguous, I'm referring to a non-secret party in the last paragraph, and that's the sort of party I'm saying I might myself be likely to take part in if tables were turned. Realized it sounded perhaps like I was being a hypocrite.)

Comments

[erelin.livejournal.com]

I'll throw a surprise party. That's right. Up here. In Washington. It will be so secret, you won't even see it coming. Or know where it is. Or be there. Or hear about it. In fact, no one will, outside of this post. It will be the most secret surprise party ever. We're talking Black Helicopter-level secret stuff here. So nyah.

Have fun in Canada!

[arethinn]

Do I get a free black helicopter with my purchase?

[erelin.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but what are you talking about? Purchase of what? There is nothing going on. Nothing to see here. <.< >.>

[arethinn]

Well then I want a nonexistent refund!

[erelin.livejournal.com]

Very well. Please send back your transluscent receipt for zero chinese pesos. Note that only the original receipt, written in Cuban Spanish Iambic Penatmeter, is valid, and it must be sent online in its original, analog, format.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

I have a story relating to that. When I first started my job a while back, one of my friends at the time told me that she wanted to take me out for my birthday, so I told her I'd go with her. Then later I found out that some other friends were getting together for lunch to celebrate the birthdays of me and another person whose birthday was a few days later. Apparently that was supposed to be a surprise, but someone had told me by mistake (I didn't know this).

I told my friend who had offered to take me to lunch that since I'd said I would go out with her before I knew about the party, that I would still go to lunch with her and they'd survive without me. She became all indignant and said "How could they not tell me, your *best friend*, about your birthday party?? I'm really upset with them for that! But I don't want you to miss the party, so let's go there instead".

So I agreed to go with her to the party instead of going to the restaurant were planning to go to. When we got to the restaurant where the party was and walked in, there were about 30 people already there, and they all yelled "Surprise"! She started yacking excitedly about how she should receive an Oscar for her performance, and how expertly she pretended not to know about the party.

It was all I could do not to burst into tears. I was devastated. Part of the pretense, you see, had been to identify herself as my "Best Friend". After that, I never trusted anything she said to me or the existence of any "friendship" between us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree with what you're saying.

[arethinn]

Yeah. That. Something about being willing to be a party to this kind of deception makes me rather question whether such a person is really a friend. Word.