Heinlein quote meme

[arethinn]

from elorie

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

I cannot change a diaper and I have no plans to learn how. I'm not sure why this is not only in this list, but given pride of place as the very first thing. This is not an important life skill when one has no children and is sterilized.

I cannot plan an invasion and I would really rather everyone just left each other alone.

I cannot butcher a hog and would probably become an ovo-lacto vegetarian if I had to live off the land. I might eventually come to terms with killing fish, but I don't think I would be capable of killing a bird, reptile, or mammal unless it was that or starvation, and even then, a lack of skills and strength would get in the way.

I cannot conn a ship. LOL, the very idea! I can see how this might be useful to know, though.

I cannot design a building. Any shelter I built would be very crude indeed.

I can write a sonnet, but not a good one.

I can balance accounts. This I can definitely do. Yeehaw.

I cannot build a wall that is worth the name, except out of Lego. Are you an inch tall and made out of plastic? No? Bummer.

I cannot set a bone.

I don't think I can comfort the dying, although I've never tried.

I can take orders, although I first have to internally agree that the person trying to give them has the right to boss me around. I take direction from work supervisors just fine; my mother has not been able to tell me what to do since I was about nineteen.

I don't give orders very well. I am one of those people who takes a while to trust others to do a good job, and would often rather do something myself than delegate.

I can cooperate, but I am not "a team player" in the outgoing, encouraging sense. I prefer to divide up a task logically between people and then be left alone to do my piece.

Solve what kind of equations? Algebraic? Trigonometric? Expressions in integral calculus? I have learned to do all of these things in the past, although all I can do now off the top of my head is very basic algebra, solving for the third side of a right triangle, and the most elementary differentials. (I never did wrap my head around analytic geometry very well in the first place.)

Analyze what kinds of new problems? I think, maybe? You'll have to be more specific.

I've never pitched manure in the sense meant here, and probably don't have the endurance to do it for very long, but I might be able not to stab myself or others with the fork.

I cannot program a computer, at least not in any current language, or to do anything much beyond "Hello World". (Does this include writing basic HTML? I can do that, although my skills stop around tables and frames.

I can cook a tasty meal.

I cannot fight efficiently.

I have no idea if I can die gallantly as I have not tried that, although a "gallant" death doesn't sound like one that appeals to me. "Peacefully" or "quietly" would be more like it.

5.5 out of 20. Yay! I suck!

Comments

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Hmm; does crashing a party with friends constitute "planning an invasion"...?

[arethinn]

I crashed a party once, by overhearing who was holding it (I think?), somehow hooking that up to a street address, and just showing up. I guess that's kind of an invasion; more of a spy mission.

It was the first party I was at where there was alcohol, and I kissed a boy who had got drunk on (cheap) beer. Now I am used to the flavour of hops and yeast, but at the time it tasted awful.

When I didn't come home at the appointed time, eventually my very angry mother came and collected me in the very-bright-headlighted stationwagon we owned at the time, which lights she turned on me and said boy, who had gone out for air.

I was barely 17.

Ah, memory lane.

[prettyoctopussy.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry about it. Heinlein was a self-important ass.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Change a diaper - A while ago, I was visiting 4QF, and Orren's son (then about 15 years old) was babysitting his infant sister. Suddenly he handed her to me and said, "Uh, could you change her for me?" I guess in his mind, "older woman" = "experienced with and loves babies". Uhm, Right. The last time was when my brother was a baby, which was in, like, 1961. I told him that fact, but it didn't seem to register. I got through the diaper change somehow, and proceeded to cultivate my ability to say 'no' along with a more non-maternal look.

Plan an invasion - uh, I can plan an invasion of my closet when it needs cleaning...

Butcher a hog - Eww? I can probably kill a small animal like a rabbit, if I was starving.

Conn a ship - Do what with a ship? (sorry, I am a little ignorant about ships).

Design a building - I'm getting better at that since reading books like "Hand-sculpted house." Turns out people without building experience really can build their own buildings from cob (monolithic adobe). Cob is kind of like an artform or playing with mud, rather than modern architecture. Some day I want to build a cob house for the heck of it. Whether I'd ever live in it is another story.

Write a sonnet - yes, not a good one

Balance accounts - yes

Build a wall - with cob, yes.

Set a bone - now that's something I want to learn, just in case I ever need it. I don't know if I could, though. Not without knocking the victim out first. Geeze.

Comfort the dying - I doubt I'd be any good. I'm better at comforting those who are left behind, and I'm not very good at that either. Anyway, I wasn't there when my parents died, so I don't know how I would have done. Probably not great.

Take orders - I can do it if the order is given in a civil manner, or if something important depends on it then even if the order is given rudely.

Give orders - I'd rather not. I usually phrase things as 'requests' which somehow get done eventually.

Cooperate - Usually...

Act alone - Often

Solve equations - I took calculus in college, so I've solved more complex ones in the past, but I'm rusty by now.

Analyze a new problem - Sure - no guarantee I'll come up with the right answer, but why not.

Pitch manure - Does scooping cat litter into the commode count? Anyway, I've used a pitchfork to pitch mulch, so I suppose it would be the same thing.

Program a computer - Not without about 8 refresher intensives.

Cook a tasty meal - Sure

Fight efficiently - hahaha

Die gallantly - hahaha

Specialization is for insects - Hm - Some insects can do more than one thing. Like bees can gather nectar, make honey, dance, fly, rip the innards out of drones, etc. Versatile.

[arethinn]

Conn a ship - Do what with a ship? (sorry, I am a little ignorant about ships).

Steer it. I would guess "conn" comes from "control" but I don't know. I'm not up on nautical terms.

cob (monolithic adobe)

What can be "monolithic" about adobe? Not built out of blocks? Like if I made a giant pinch-pot and then turned it upside down and carved a door in it?

Thanks for mentioning this, though. I'd always been picturing corn cobs for some reason, and confused as to how those could be used as a building material.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

> Like if I made a giant pinch-pot and then turned it upside down and
> carved a door in it?

The spaces for the doors and windows are created/sculpted while the wall is still wet and pliable, so you don't have to carve them in later.

> what can be monolithic about adobe?

Right, it's not built out of blocks. The mix of clay, sand, and straw is fashioned into loaves which were called "cobs" in Britain. The cobs are worked into the wall so there are no seams.

[silussa.livejournal.com]

I suspect if you needed to, you could manage just about everything on the list. To the level of an expert, no....but then, we're talking about generalists here. ;)