arethinn: glowing green spiral (agree (ron peeps))
Arethinn ([personal profile] arethinn) wrote2008-02-14 01:40 pm
Entry tags:

marriage stuff

[livejournal.com profile] enotsola and I were tentatively planning for May 3rd, but my mother has shot that down as being Beltane (in the SCA Kingdom of the West sense) and if the person who is fighting for her at March Crown (March 22) should win, she HAS to be there to be crowned queen. (which is O.o all in itself) This is a bummer because the 3rd sat well with both of us "feeling" wise, but yeah. We're not sure whether forward to the 10th or back to April 26th is better. Right now I'm leaning for back because we can't apply for an employment authorization until we have applied to adjust status to permanent resident, which we have to complete the marriage first to be able to do, so the sooner the better on getting him employed and us out of my parents' house. ^_-

Turns out also that the marriage license is only the first part and we do have to have some kind of ceremony, although California is loose about who can perform a marriage. You can have a clergyperson or judge do it, pay an the extra fee to have the county clerk's office do it (but you have to have an appointment and it's something crazy like Tues - Fri, 10 AM to 4 PM only) or pay a different extra fee to deputize some friend or relative of choice to be a "solemnizer" (who has to show up and apply for this -- I assume they are sworn in, given forms, stuff like that).

Um. We don't have anyone in mind for that. We are not having a church wedding, ugh. I'm not thrilled by the idea of the civil ceremony schedule because we really would prefer a weekend. Any of you local doods out there (still) ordained?

(*grumbles at the eligibility language that says "The couple must be an unmarried man and an unmarried woman"*)

[identity profile] tiggrrl.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe Colin or I could do this.
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[personal profile] arcanetrivia 2008-02-14 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you still members of a COG coven, or are you ordained through some other authority?

[identity profile] tiggrrl.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Colin is both ULC and NWC and I'm NWC.

[identity profile] coyotegoth.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Foo, wish I could. (Then again, I don't know if my ULC ordination would hold up in California, anyway.)

[identity profile] unseelie.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
stands up in MA.
I know. ;-D
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[personal profile] arcanetrivia 2008-02-14 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
They accept ULC and UU type things but I think it would have had to be obtained in California in the first place.

[identity profile] talonstrike.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm ordained by the ULC in California... I've never done a wedding, though.

[identity profile] talonstrike.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Details, details. :D

[identity profile] unseelie.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I've done...3 weddings, all in Massachusetts, all -3- legally binding, I signed the paperwork and everything.
All 3 were pagan handfasting style weddings, even the one with the Bio-Family in attendence..
:-D
I'm somewhat suprised that it sounds more annoying in CA than in MA for a man and a woman to get hitched - but - what are ya gonna do?

[identity profile] twopiearr.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
my mom is quite the mucky muck priestess in the bay area these days, and she does weddings...

[identity profile] twopiearr.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
we were, for the record, never particularly xtian or any other religion - we just went to church because my mother found suburbia to not contain a sense of community and hoped that going to church would provide one.

i know what you mean, tho.
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[identity profile] venturous1.livejournal.com 2008-02-14 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
First of all, Congratulations! I know this is old news, but it's still wonderful that plans are coming to fruition.

I've done 3 weddings for 'alternative' families, where ordination didnt matter. Recently got a ULC ordination, which is legal in most states. I'm not promoting my services, just chiming in. After all, I live on the wrong coast!

But if you have someone who is energetically right, ULC ordination is easy and quick, and they are based in CA.

[identity profile] shalora.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm, I do have a ULC ordination, but there's that whole thing where I live 700 miles north of you. Give or take. ;)
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[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
I vote for the April date, since the energy is still building up toward May 3, and not waning away from it.

FWIW, we just got the courthouse guy-on-duty-that-morning to perform their standard ceremony to meet that requirement. The secular ceremony didn't involve any religious statements or promises of obedience, and it was short and sweet and included everything the state requires. If you have rings they'd be exchanged at the end of the secular ceremony. The whole thing being officiated, witnessed, recorded, and certified by the same people saves time and eliminates bureaucratic bumbling. There's a fee for the license before and a fee for each copy of the certificate after. I think ours added up to about $75 if I remember right.

When we did this, I took that morning off, and just told work I had an appointment and would be in late. I didn't tell them until that afternoon when I got to work what it had been about. They all still think I'm a little weird...
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[personal profile] arcanetrivia 2008-02-15 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
FWIW, we just got the courthouse guy-on-duty-that-morning to perform their standard ceremony to meet that requirement.

Here, the license and the ceremony are two separate pieces and it would require a separate appointment. It's not drop-in. Our license is $79 by itself and if you want the civil ceremony there that's another $80 or something. Anyway, we wanted a weekend so that people who wanted to show up (and maybe have, like, dinner afterwards or something) could do so. But yeah, I'm leaning towards April rather than later May too, albeit for practical reasons.
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[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Urk - two appointments. I was actually surprised it was so easy here - I had expected a lot more hoops to jump through. Also I forgot everyone on the planet except me would want to accommodate guests...

[identity profile] valkyriur.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Getting married is way too much work. :/ I know because I've been looking into it myself. It's terribly difficult.

[identity profile] zilchmeister.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 08:44 am (UTC)(link)
UM ordained in CA.
Message me if you need me, otherwise, congrats (in case I haven't already extended that sentiment).

[identity profile] nytemuse.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
heh...[livejournal.com profile] unseelie is ordained through a few groups and can do legal marriage ceremonies.

Come to think on it, I probably could too...ordination in the ULC counts, and I got that years ago, I've just never actually done one, but I know [livejournal.com profile] unseelie has done a few (I was at an impromptu one of his a few years ago).

congratulations

[identity profile] rainman1432003.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Congrats from Ran and Jo! Our suggestion is to spend your money on things that are really important to you. For us, it was photographs (cause they last forever) and honeymoon (we really wanted to get far away) so we had an economical reception etc.

-Ran