![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A couple of days ago we got a call from my uncle that she was in the hospital and wasn't expected to live very long, almost certainly not past the start of the year. She was the last living grandparent I had - my mother's mother died when I was 8, my father's father when I was 4, and my mother's father 10 years before I was born. Since I'm 24 now, she rather outlived the rest of them!
I don't really feel anything about this; my last memory of being in her presence was some fifteen years ago. Since then I've spoken to her on the phone just a few times (and she didn't seem to grasp that I hadn't already moved to Canada) and, mainly, been interpreting her handwriting on the cards she sends us, because neither my mother nor father has been able to read it for years (her handwriting was quite terrible).
In fact the most prominent emotion is relief. Now I won't have to explain to her again why I haven't already moved to Canada. Now my father will have several hundred dollars a month back that he had been sending to my uncle to help support her. Now she no longer resents where she lives, and won't be constantly bringing this up in the holiday and birthday cards she wrote. She had been living literally down the street from me until the expense got to be too much and the family moved her up to the north Bay where my uncle's family lives. She was never happy about that, and in fact had never wanted to move to California in the 1950s in the first place (imagine!).
So, likely another funeral service I'll have to boredly sit through because I have no real thoughts or emotions about the person in question. I'm really not sure how I'll take it when my parents eventually die - obviously I have emotion and opinion invested in them. But there's no way I can really think about that now.
I do wonder how it's affected my dad, though. He's not showing anything, but then, he wouldn't....
I don't really feel anything about this; my last memory of being in her presence was some fifteen years ago. Since then I've spoken to her on the phone just a few times (and she didn't seem to grasp that I hadn't already moved to Canada) and, mainly, been interpreting her handwriting on the cards she sends us, because neither my mother nor father has been able to read it for years (her handwriting was quite terrible).
In fact the most prominent emotion is relief. Now I won't have to explain to her again why I haven't already moved to Canada. Now my father will have several hundred dollars a month back that he had been sending to my uncle to help support her. Now she no longer resents where she lives, and won't be constantly bringing this up in the holiday and birthday cards she wrote. She had been living literally down the street from me until the expense got to be too much and the family moved her up to the north Bay where my uncle's family lives. She was never happy about that, and in fact had never wanted to move to California in the 1950s in the first place (imagine!).
So, likely another funeral service I'll have to boredly sit through because I have no real thoughts or emotions about the person in question. I'm really not sure how I'll take it when my parents eventually die - obviously I have emotion and opinion invested in them. But there's no way I can really think about that now.
I do wonder how it's affected my dad, though. He's not showing anything, but then, he wouldn't....
