People are things.. have things... that I am not. I am not anything in particular. Why is it that "everyone I know" (not literally, but subjectively) gets to "go" and I am "left behind"? Or better phrased, why would I ever get a sense of hope that I would be, since it's obvious that I am not? Why the punishment all my life, on various counts? Is it karmic? Is there something I've failed to do in this life? What is it?