arethinn: glowing green spiral (Default)
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist church outside Washington, DC as part of his campaign. Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the bishop, and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint." The bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it." Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug and as the sermon progresses the bishop begins his homily:

"George Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, a bully, and a low-intelligence weasel. He was a drunken cokehead for most of his adult life, and he had Rove scrub his cocaine arrest story by setting up and destroying the journalist who reported it, the late Jim Hatfield. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to dress up in a flight suit landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' Worst of all, he let his cabinet neocons and covert operators murder almost 3,000 Americans on 9/11 so he could invade two countries for oil and money, and he’s been lying about it ever since. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known...

"...But compared to Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Pearle, Doug Feith, Scooter Libby, and the other neocons, George Bush is a saint."

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] evergrey.livejournal.com
Bwahahahaha!
Yes indeed, my father is a Methodist pastr and would laugh his ass off at this.

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 03:05 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] soundwave106.livejournal.com
Hehehehe :)

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] nsingman.livejournal.com
Eek! Why do you hate America? :-)

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 03:44 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] skatche.livejournal.com
Probably 'cause she's swimming in it. :P

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 06:11 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] starlightforest.livejournal.com
Can I come play in the Canadian pool?

Date: Jan. 24th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] starlightforest.livejournal.com
Oh...did the terrorist just win?

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Arethinn

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