very merry unbirthday

[arethinn]

Three weeks from now (precisely, as a matter of fact; well, three weeks and six hours, if you want to be pedantic) I will be 26 years old. Besides creeping up on the "not being carded" age (the signs are all "if you look under 30...") and no longer having any stretch of the imagination by which I could rightfully say I was in my "early 20s", there is one other major thing which is bothering me about this.

I still live in my parents' house.

Now, this is not because I am some kind of financial failure, or because I lack the skills to take care of myself. I have perfectly good, reasonable reasons for still being in this house. Yet something still feels wrong about it, like 25 is the last possible age at which it could still be reasonable to live with one's parents without it being a situation of caring for them because of age or disability.

I'm about to cross this line and it really, really bugs me. Yet I'm stuck. While my income is theoretically enough to allow me to scrape by, it means I would have to choose between saving a paltry amount per month (like, $300 tops), or ever buying anything fun (like, you know, a coffee now and then, or a new CD or whatever). And kiss goodbye all the visits with enotsola ($400-600 a pop just for airfare, depending on the time of year) and going to gathers and cons. I don't find such a situation acceptable.

But it still sucks.

Comments

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

A pox on "societal expectations". Do what works for you.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

Nobody is telling me this. I just feel it. I should not still have been here and here I am. *pounds the wall*

[twopiearr.livejournal.com]

One of the side-effects of longevity is a correlating lengthening of the phases of life. Recent studies suggest most Americans consider themselves not yet into adulthood until they reach the age of 30 or so. By that metric you're still doing fine.

If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend works with a pair of 25 year old women who still live at home (one cohabitating in her parents' basement with a boyfriend even!), do so more or less precisely because they are financial failures, and have no plans for moving out soon if at all. So at the very least you get points for being pragmatic instead of a leech.

You'd have cause for concern if you had no plan for altering the situation, but it sounds very much like you do. So I wouldn't stress it.

Ultimately it's just a number anyway.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

You'd have cause for concern if you had no plan for altering the situation, but it sounds very much like you do.

Yeah, I'm waiting for the passport request from CIC so I can go land in Canada... and then go live with someone else's parents for several months (in much less space I might add; ugh) while I find a job and become able to move out. Mrph.

[twopiearr.livejournal.com]

and where's the sense of personal accomplishment if it's easy? ;)

[darkcactus.livejournal.com]

find someone that is looking for a roommate, find a relatively good deal on an apartment, then move out

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

No, absolutely not. I refuse to live with a roommate. Yuck. I don't want to have to have consideration for anyone else's schedule or habits. I also don't want to get into a situation where anyone else can screw me over, in this case most probably by not paying rent. I had enough of that shit living with the person I lived with in Sacramento for three years.

[darkcactus.livejournal.com]

ok, just trying to make a suggestion

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

Sorry to snap, it's just that it doesn't solve the essential problem (that I don't have my own living space), yet takes away the major advantage that my current situation does give me (that that I get to keep so much of my income), and simultaneously introduces the headache of finding a place to live, moving, and changing my address everywhere. Net result is work and more drawbacks, for no benefit. So it doesn't seem worth doing.

[shalora.livejournal.com]

See, and Mom could never understand why I didn't want a roommate, when I was briefly considering attempting to move out. And the only reason I'm *not* living at home right now is that I'm *still* working on a bachelor's degree. Which I'll get when... I'm almost 28. :p It will have taken me 7 years. And sure, there are plenty of extenuating circumstances, but it still makes me feel like a grade-A looser. Being a grown-up is hard work, dammit! :(

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

Being a grown-up is hard work, dammit!

No shitski!

I'm *still* working on a bachelor's degree ... It will have taken me 7 years.

A four-year degree just isn't anymore. I may have graduated four years ago but it took me five years to complete the degree. And that was with doing as much of the GE as possible at De Anza, and selecting one of the shorter majors (in terms of units you had to earn) at Sac State. From the look of the units required, some of the longer ones (like computer science) looked to me like they would have taken four years for the major requirements alone! I just don't get how anyone could possibly have completed everything in four years on the semester system without absolutely killing themselves (like, 20 units a semester). I think quarter systems are superior in that regard.

New age limits!

[shalora.livejournal.com]

Just heard this on the radio this morning: current surveys show that most people don't consider us to be grown up until age 30, by when we should have a) gotten a degree, b) moved out, and c) become financially independant. And 1 in 6 *30 year olds* still live with their parents. Thought that might help a bit... :)

[iloveminx.livejournal.com]

Wow - I read your post and I feel your pain about cost of air-fare. Actually, I am a good friend of minxclothing and she suggested I say "hi" since I am from LA. I live in SF now.
I dearly miss my friends in Toronto (Canada) but it's way too expensive to travel back and forth.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

Hi!