summary/restatement

[arethinn]

Getting slightly back on track, because I genuinely didn't want to stress any one example --

Is it normal to feel that there is nothing I have a right to, noplace I have a right to be, nothing I can do without being "called on it"? Does everyone get this (constantly, I mean, not just time to time, which I'm sure everyone does), or is there something wrong with me, or is it something wrong (or at least, non-conducive to this) with the world?

(I realize there is a significant component of "just whining" here, but though I do try to have a care that I am posting to an audience, I feel rather less - ahem - unjustified doing this in my personal journal than I would in a board/list/community.)

Comments

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to have a horribly embarrassing, guilty, sinking feeling that I may have been contributing to this problem myself all along, and what's worse, not altogether unconsciously (more like refuse-to-be-consciously, if that phrase makes any sense).

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

no need to feel guilty -- i think everyone does this sort of thing to themselves at some point, over something or other. i know i have... and yeh, your phrase makes perfect sense. sometimes it is deliberate. it's easier to believe what someone tells us we are than to accept ourselves as we are. BEEG mistake. and we all do it. we're our own worst enemy in a lot of ways.

go with what your instincts tell you -- don't second-guess them, or seek justification from someone who can't possibly see the whole picture because they're not You, no matter how Insightful they are. YOU know what you are. deep down inside, you do. the rest of the world will just have to figure it out for themselves. and that's half the fun right there. =)

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

no need to feel guilty -- i think everyone does this sort of thing to themselves at some point, over something or other. i know i have... and yeh, your phrase makes perfect sense. sometimes it is deliberate. it's easier to believe what someone tells us we are than to accept ourselves as we are. BEEG mistake. and we all do it. we're our own worst enemy in a lot of ways.

No, I mean by requiring others to justify themselves, even if only in my own head, silently. Given that I posited that people doing this on a mailing list - even if they don't actually voice the challenges because of a veneer of politeness - can still produce an atmosphere that people pick up on intuitively, then I have been not just not part of the solution, but an active part of the problem. And I think I have been trying to ignore it even though I know it (thus, not unconscious, but refuse-to-be-conscious).