summary/restatement

[arethinn]

Getting slightly back on track, because I genuinely didn't want to stress any one example --

Is it normal to feel that there is nothing I have a right to, noplace I have a right to be, nothing I can do without being "called on it"? Does everyone get this (constantly, I mean, not just time to time, which I'm sure everyone does), or is there something wrong with me, or is it something wrong (or at least, non-conducive to this) with the world?

(I realize there is a significant component of "just whining" here, but though I do try to have a care that I am posting to an audience, I feel rather less - ahem - unjustified doing this in my personal journal than I would in a board/list/community.)

Comments

[danodea.livejournal.com]

When I was a child, my parents instilled in me the idea that The World Is Not Fair.

They also instilled the idea that you really can't trust anyone outside of Family with some types of information or responsibility; this caused some problems when it became obvious that even Family did not support certain types of abilities and talents - which implied no support.

I found my inner sense of strength because I lost everything I had believed in, and started over. It wasn't fun, and it was long and slow, but it brought me to a place where I was much more self-directed and self-determined.

The reason I'm saying these things is that I think the only places where one can truly find acceptance are the places one makes - inside one's own head, inside one's own living space, perhaps inside a chosen family. perhaps inside a chosen community that one helps to build, or helps to grow.

At least, that's my experience.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

The connection between feeling strong and worthwhile and having living space is a salient point, and an important one to me. My "best times" that I remember so far were when I was at Sac State and living in my own apartment... well, with a boyfriend that I eventually grew apart from, but the point is -- NOT with my parents, which is where I have been living again since graduating (reasons are several and all practical, and mostly irrelevant).