(no subject)

[arethinn]

A couple of things are really confusing me about this prom that was cancelled in Mississippi.

1. How did they find out these two girls were planning to go together before they would have simply turned up at the dance? (Barring the pair entry at that point would have been a different issue) I seem to recall that when my boyfriend and I went to our senior ball you just paid your money (and maybe showed your student body card, I think ASB membership was required) and bought a ticket -- I dunno that they weren't attached to names and even if so, they certainly had no idea who was going with whom.

2. "In his 12-page order, Davidson also ruled that Itawamba Agricultural High School's denial of 18-year-old Constance McMillen's request to wear a tuxedo to her prom was a violation of her rights." ... Request?? Why is there any preset control at all over what people wear? I understand a dress code and telling people they can't come in if it's not met, but again, I'm lost as to how they found out about this before she just turned up dressed that way.

Comments

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

To both questions: Some high schools maintain much more control over who attends their prom--that is, every student is allowed to attend, but must specify who they're bringing. No felons, 44 year old leches dating juniors, or over_protective stepdads who weren't allowed to be "chaperones" need apply as "dates". And some schools maintain dress codes, separate ones for daily school than for formal events.

Both of these things are usual, though hardly standard, in the US.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

Some high schools maintain much more control over who attends their prom--that is, every student is allowed to attend, but must specify who they're bringing. No felons, 44 year old leches dating juniors, or over_protective stepdads who weren't allowed to be "chaperones"

Never occurred to me someone might try to bring someone else who wasn't a student. As I said, I'm pretty sure we had to show an ASB card to buy a ticket. (Maybe one person could have bought more than one ticket?) It's not like I kept my tickets so I have no idea anymore (this was fifteen years ago). I dunno how my school would have handled the case of someone wanting to go with someone who had been a student but just graduated, like a senior with their SO who had been a senior the previous year, or someone who'd moved to another school or something.

And some schools maintain dress codes

I assume there was a dress code (dresses must be longer than X inches etc), but I would expect people to be turned away at the door if they didn't adhere to it, not for there to be fashion policing beforehand! I mean, did everyone have to request permission to wear what they were going to wear?

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

According to my theory of life, they'd have been better off just showing up and staring down anyone who tried to turn them away, because it's easier to get forgiveness than permission, right?

And, yes, the things you mention are reasons why there are now "guest lists" at proms, as well as a senior dating a college freshman (so why not a junior dating a college freshman? So then why not a sophomore dating a college sophomore? So then why not a senior dating a guy who was age-appropriate but had been kicked out/dropped out of school two years before? What about the guy who just got out of juvie?)

[silverback2001.livejournal.com]

Also, the person in question had heard previously about other people in the past not being allowed to bring same-gendered people to the Prom, and specifically asked permission and thought that "it's me, they know me, I can make it different than the other times people have tried." basically.

From what I've gathered from other sources, she was basically treated like shit, despite how polite she was in her request. Because of the poor treatment is why she made a huge fuss over it, and why the ACLU got involved. The ACLU contacted the school, and told them that they were in violation of the law due to not allowing for "freedom of expression" and then the school completely canceled the prom because they didn't want to admit that they were wrong, and also didn't want to be in violation of the law. No prom, and the legal accusation falls apart because the event that was being fought for, never actually happened.

[rainsingingwolf.livejournal.com]

I went to an arts school, where more than half the population identified as "gay" or, at least, bi-sexual. Even that school wouldn't allow same-sex couples to purchase "couple" tickets, which was $5 off. They required you to buy the tickets together. :P A male couple and a female couple would simply go pay for the tickets by switching partners and then show up with the respective partner they intended to bring.

Stupid.

[shalora.livejournal.com]

We had names on our "bids" (fancy word for tickets - regular dances had tickets, proms had bids), so that they could ensure that it was mixed-sex couples. One of my girl friends and I had planned to go together, because we didn't have guys - but we couldn't figure out how. You could not buy a single bid, they ONLY came in pairs. And then she went and got a boyfriend anyway, the brat. I wound up going with a guy I was vaguely friends with from my youth group, who was a year ahead and going to DeAnza and had a girlfriend, just to have /someone/ to go with. He was a good sport about it, considering he didn't know /anybody/ but me.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

"Bids", yeah, that was it, now you say it. Your school would have been most like Homestead, I guess. I could have sworn you could buy them singly but I could be totally misremembering.

[shalora.livejournal.com]

Eh - being in the same district doesn't necessarily mean that our schools did anything the same way. It's entirely possible that MV made us buy double bids but Homestead allowed single ones.

[starlightforest.livejournal.com]

I mean compared to anyone else who's answered here, who is nowhere near being in the same school district.

[shalora.livejournal.com]

Good point there. :) It's funny, people think of the Bay Area as being so liberal and progressive, but still, MV had all these rules in place to keep two girls from going as friends because they're both big nerds and can't get dates, when it's not even a sexual thing? Whatever.