(no subject)

[arethinn]

are there any life hacks for like. how to be worth anything and have anything you do deserve anyone giving a shit about it and to not get punished for the mere act of mentioning that it hurts to be wrong and not enough? answers on the back of a postcard

(and don't say "intimate friendships" like a couple of no doubt well-meaning folks did here. I have no idea how long it's been since I had one of those, never mind more than one. what a concept. the whole thing is there's not enough of me to achieve and sustain such a thing, even if I knew anyone with whom I would be comfortable trying it, which I don't. I barely get accepted into surface-level friendships. nor does "[you don't] need to reach a certain threshold to be allowed to live happily" make sense here because I'm talking about needing to reach a threshold to be accepted as belonging.)

Comments

[kossai]

... yeah . like , optimism and hope for others to be kind and respectful is all wonderful , and kossai do try to live and advocate for these things everyday . but also in kind of unstable position , with body that is not always cooperative , so definitely feel that vibe of like , never really feel safe to let people too far in , need certain things in life to change . otherwise tend to also not be enough for others , in sense of failures to live up to hopes and expectations - or else too much , in sense of instability and mistakes .

cheesy and unsatisfactory answer is that kossai just try things anyway , because try is fun . but ... obviously in cases of community events and such , that attention is necessary to try in first place , and that is where not really have much personal experience . even besides that , when self worth is massive struggle , can be hard to see anything at all as fun .

attention and recognition for hard work is great , but in so many modern living situations , these can end up as main pillars of self worth . but no one can produce and hype literally endlessly - efforts burn out sooner or later - and not only that , but audiences can not engage endlessly either . not that kossai know exact situations here , but is there chance others feel overwhelm too ?

guess would also ask - and no need to answer these in open air , just maybe to think about - is there something about these people in particular that is harder to impress , and why ? is there some reason that need approval of these specific people , like job or network connections , or is this more about personal identity and perceptions of self ?