re: woman, girl, whatever

[arethinn]

dancinglights brought up the term "lady" and its uses, and I made a remark myself in a comment to someone else about how I thought maybe people just used my name rather than a generic term if they needed to refer to me, but it actually does make me curious what word or words other people might use for me. Out of the following choices I think I would mostly use "girl" for myself (although as mentioned, I think I may be growing out of it). You?

[Poll #981789]

Comments

[twopiearr.livejournal.com]

"gal" is a term I use fairly generically when "female" seems to clinical...

[enotsola]

Beloved doesn't count, does it? Fiancee? Wife?

[silvaerina-tael.livejournal.com]

As far as the other comment is concerned, I'm thinking 'androgen'.

[gesigewigus.livejournal.com]

I'd say person, because I try to avoid using gender specific terms unless someone uses it about themselves first.

[ahril.livejournal.com]

When referring to you in conversation with Husband I usually say, "My friend tass..." because you are my friend first and, to me, gender is a secondary or even tertiary component of who people are for me.

When I was your age, I felt the same way about "girls" and "woman" as descriptive terms. In my mind, I wasn't yet a woman, but was outgrowing "girl". I definitely call myself a woman now though (which is for me more about female adult vs. female child than traditional man/woman gender roles), and honestly, bearing children isn't what really did it for me. It was just aging and maturing to a certain point to where I felt that I was finally an adult, that I had the confidence adults have, and was looked upon by my colleagues at work in their 50's and 60's as an adult rather than a "just-out-of-college kid".

The moment came a few months after I turned 35 (I'll be 38 this December). I don't think there was a specific event that triggered the change. It was just a slow and gradual thing.

It felt good to finally grow up, to finally be confident in my own skin.

[heartssdesire.livejournal.com]

I am most likely to say 'girl' 'woman' or 'person'.

I feel like 'gal' is a word that comes out of the mouths of guys with handlebar moustaches. I can't remember the last time I used it.

'Lass' is what guys in utilikilts call girls they want to impress. Way too pretentious and pseudo-archaic for me.

'Lady', well maybe but only if I was being sarcastic for some reason. 'Chick' also, occasionally pops out of my mouth when I'm on a ramble or not paying terribly much attention.

'Other' in your case was something like a string of adjectives and nouns stuck together when it didn't seem like one of them was doing the job by itself or I didn't know which one was proper. Something like "you know that tass person, the faerie otherkin elf girl thing from lj?". :)

[shalora.livejournal.com]

I must confess, I'd probably default to "girl" just 'cause I haven't seen you in, um, how many years now? We haven't spent much "face time" since we were kids; my mental image of you is over 10 years old, as I'm sure yours is of me also... :)

pet peeve

[baxil.livejournal.com]

The use of "girl" as a generic descriptor for females is one of our society's most pernicious phrases. I've had to train myself out of it since childhood, and I really dislike society for it.

I only use "girl" for circumstances in which I would call her a "boy" if she was male.

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

I'd probably just say "my friend Tass" rather than refer to your gender as a personhood-describing noun.

I have this same problem. "Woman" brings up images of very normal looking female people who are at least five years older than I am. I think the normality is a big part of it - someone who is kind of a subculture freak does not read as "woman" to me because "woman" is always foreign, other, like a teacher when I'm a little kid.

I am used to being "girl" and so I would still likely call my female friends who are weirdos and around my age "girls" because that's the category for people more like me. Does that make sense?

I totally don't think of myself as a woman. I think of myself as genderqueer, a girl, a person, and sometimes I identify with "women" in the greater plural sense, but never in the singular sense.

I'm kinda weird like that, though.

[dancinglights.livejournal.com]

"other" would just be the use of "friend" or talking around it with "someone I know" blah blah "she" blah blah "tass", which is usually how I refer to people, slipping in names and genders without resorting to such terminology whenever possible. "Chick" if only because "elfchick" has somehow insinuated itself into my vocabulary as a rar-stompy-respectful usage of the word "chick" in reference to fae-ish adult females.

Ashran's commentary has reminded me of how I've always liked the Tarot having a knight between page and king, and that most of the guys I'm friends with really fall into that "knight" perceived age and stature category. I wish there were a simple word for it in English (maybe "guy" suffices), but even moreso I wish we had a female analogue to it even in concept.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

I usually just refer to you by your name. I've never actually referred to you to anyone who never met you or didn't know you in some context, so "this girl I know" has never been necessary. In the event I had to use such a descriptor, "this girl I know called E" would probably be what I would say, mostly because 'this star-being I know with female sidhe characteristics' would probably get me stared at oddly (and would take too long to say)...