> get lamp

Ugh. Insomnia is rubbish. It's always taken me a long time to get to sleep, and I'm used to that - at least 30-45 minutes unless I'm really physically exhausted. Even a repeated cycle of insufficient sleep, such as I get, doesn't tire me out enough to actually feel like going to bed at a reasonable time. I spend the whole day at work feeling tired and fatigued and then, somehow, I get a second wind somewhere between 7 and 9 PM and can't mentally wind down enough to get to sleep before 2:30 AM (which we did last night, per usual). I distinctly remember still being awake and seeing the clock at 3:45, and waking up at 7:05, and I may have dreamed the still-awake-roll over or actually-wake-from-sleep/doze in the middle which was about 5:00, but I'm not sure.

And then the construction/remodeling work on our neighbors' house across the street started bright and early with various crashing and power-tool sounds at 8:30 AM, so barely even dozed for the next hour til they laid off it. (Mercifully, they seem to have also laid off the jackhammer and to have stopped using, for now, the circular saw or whatever it was they used a lot in the past two weeks which was not only grindy-whiny-noisy, but for some reason played a high-pitched fluting scale of about 4 notes as they wound it up and down.)

I just couldn't stop thinking and never seemed to get into a hypnogogic state (hypnopompic? can never keep straight which is into sleep and which is into waking). Blerg.

Google Fiber for Communities

Google is planning to launch an experiment that we hope will make Internet access better and faster for everyone. We plan to test ultra-high speed broadband networks in one or more trial locations across the country. Our networks will deliver Internet speeds more than 100 times faster than what most Americans have access to today over 1 gigabit per second, fiber-to-the-home connections.

You know what's sad is that even though Google is practically next door to me, I'm almost certain this isn't going to be available at my house any time soon, if ever. It was only just this time last year that there was finally DSL penetration to my street, I assume because of the technical limitations of the phone system cabling (we are basically on the back 40 of the loop from central office). I'm not holding my breath for fiber to be installed around here.

My new 22" LG monitor has a stuck pixel out of the box which has failed to respond to various pixel-fixing programs (and I am extremely leery of trying more physical techniques which might hurt something, especially if I want to try to send it for warranty replacement). It's precisely one pixel, so I won't get satisfaction from Newegg about it and have to turn to the possibility of manufacturer warranty. I sent LG's customer service an email yesterday asking whether this was enough defect to get it replaced, but haven't received a reply yet. I dread having to call them on the phone (not because of prior bad experience -- I have none at all with LG -- but because I hate that kind of thing). Waaahhhh.

In other CT news, the titans have announced five more live show cities and dates:
FEB 13-14-SAN FRANCISCO-Marines Memorial Theatre

BAH! No! You cannot do a Cinematic Titanic show in San Francisco then! That's the first two days of PantheaCon! Bastards!

In related news, last month enotsola and I took part in a writing session for a shorts episode of Mystery Fandom Theater 3000, and will be going to another in a couple of weeks. I feel kinda leet.

This weekend has had a high proportion of fail. ( Read more... )

But there was one small highlight, and that was that we did achieve our primary objective in going to Super-Con in the first place: Getting to see Joel, Trace, Frank, and Josh (J. Elvis) and also Wil Wheaton. Tipping slightly in the "fail" side of things was that the MST dudes seemed really wiped, and not terribly enthusiastic about being there, but I suppose there are few things that can compare to Joel Hodgson saying "Hi, I'm Joel" and shaking yours and your husband's hands. ^_^ ( Read more... )

( pictures )

from elfwreck.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

Crash course in being me: Paying bills is kind of fun. I like saying "ha ha, now I owe you nothing". I like the sense of responsibility. I am a Virgo on crack.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Um, have I ever had one of these?

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Mmm, no. I don't think so. It was what it was.
( Read more... )

*splat*

Aside from a minor breakdown Sunday night, good time was had this weekend. But between significant quantities of alcohol, partying, the general energetic weirdness that is kin gathers, poor sleep from sleeping on the floor and being awakened at about 8 or 8:30 two days out of three by being trampled and nosed by two large dogs, driving home this morning, and now menstrual cramps on top of all of it, I am about out of spoons for today (...and I've just started at work, joy).

Why is it that the elegant solution never reveals itself until I have spent days and days (in this case, something like a month) messing around with klugey ones? Is it some kind of test or initiation? Some gate I must pass before I am worthy of the elegant solution? Or a situation comparable to that apple tree that tricked me into walking through clouds of mosquitoes over impassable vegetation to try ask my question of the river because "I just wanted to see if you would do it"?

*humph*

Genius: n. The ability to spot the elegant solutions right off.


(speaking of elegant solutions, baxil, what was the deal with the "coal club" sandwich anyway?)

Why have spirits always gotta want iterations of things just for themselves?

"But I have about ten 'special glasses' already. Some of them I even bought with no particular purpose known to me. Maybe one of them is 'yours'?"

"Hell no! You're going to go out and get one just for this."

"*sigh*"

(I'm not really begrudging it -- it's more a question of storage space. I'm running out of places to put Yet Another Owned Artifact, you see.)

Well shit. enotsola tells me that the Cambridge library (to whom I had submitted a resume in June, for no specific position, their site just says "we keep things on file and we'll call you") just called me in Kitchener to ask me in for an interview or something. Apparently they were disappointed to hear I had moved back to California as they were really hoping I'd work out. So not that I haven't already been kicking myself for several months wondering if I was right to move back, and being weirdly emotional about it such that so much as seeing a Canadian flag can make me almost burst into tears, but then they go and try to call me (undertone in my brain of "well where was this offer six or even three months ago, ya jerks?", though).

So would it have worked? If I had hung on through the winter and spent another couple thousand dollars of my savings (I was already down to about 2/3 what I started last year with by the time everything was said and done and I was back here), would I now (soon) be living the Coarsegold dream, so to speak? When I was there I was panicking that it had been the wrong idea, that I should have slowed down and reconsidered in January when I got the visa, and noticed that things had changed and it would have been a better overall path to just stop then and bring him here, since I had a near-perfect job situation, and that by charging ahead with "damnit, I started it, I'm going to finish it" was probably not the wisest choice. I have already been full of anxious "what ifs", and now here's something concrete. So did I do the wrong thing AGAIN?

I am sick and tired of not knowing where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing; when I am jumping the gun and when if I wait any longer I will be just wasting my time. I gave up something good which I can probably never get back in the hopes that I might be able to make something different work. I wasn't able to do it as fast as I needed to, or thought I needed to, so I said "fuck it". And now it looks like I may have again given up something good which I can never get back (at least, not easily, although I am really not sure what the government of Canada thinks I am - do they even know I've left? the MTO knows that I have re-licensed my car in California, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything of itself, and the left hand may not know what the right hand is doing) in the hopes of making something else work out, and AUGH!!!!!!!



did I mention, AUGH!!!!!!! ?